Here's a continuation of my "Top 10: Depressing Christmas Songs." Because, truth be told, I still ain't feeling too damn cheery this time of year. But, y'know, happy holidays!
1. "Christmas Card From a Hooker in Minneapolis," Tom Waits
Killer line: "I'll be eligible for parole come Valentine's Day."
2. "Blue Christmas," Elvis Presley
Killer line: "Youll be doin all right, with your Christmas of white, but I'll have a blue, blue blue blue Christmas."
3. "Christmas in Washington," Steve Earle
Killer line: "If you run into Jesus, maybe he can help you out."
4. "A Long December," Counting Crows
Killer line: "I guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower."
5. "Same Old Lang Syne," Dan Fogelberg
Killer line: "She gave a kiss to me as I got out, and I watched her drive away."
This article appears in Dec 17-23, 2008.