Transformers (July 4)
Popcorn virtuoso and master of bombast Michael Bay (Armageddon) dishes up a live-action version (albeit a heavily CGI-tweaked live-action version) of that animated TV series from the 1980s about giant robots stomping each other without end. Bay's version is sure to be every bit as slick and super-sized as the TV show was primitive and cheesy, but it looks like he's captured the spirit of the thing; the old series was basically just an advertisement for action figures, and the merchandising for the big screen update is already overwhelming.
Despite whatever charm or style they may possess (and the portions may be sizeable), The Bourne Ultimatum and Ocean's 13 are both basically human-centric, and that's usually a liability at the summer box office. Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer sounds closer to the flashy junk food that traditionally tears up the megaplexes this time of year, but Bay's battling 'bots might just turn out to be the big winner here. A flick hasn't tapped this deep into the Zeitgeist since, well, Snakes on a Plane.
The Feather-Weight Division
Live Free or Die Hard (June 29)
Old action movies don't die, they just fade away, and ditto for their stars. Bruce Willis is back as John McClane, now an agent with Homeland Security, but still a magnet for dastardly bad guys and the photogenic explosions caused by enormous vehicles smashing into even larger vehicles. Yippie-kay-ay. Whatever.
Rush Hour 3 (Aug. 10)
Another resuscitated action franchise, this one featuring the sweet-and-sour bickerings of Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker as odd-couple cops thrown in the line of fire. Curiously enough, Roman Polanski reportedly puts in a cameo.
Stardust (Aug. 10)
A stellar cast including Claire Danes, Sienna Miller, Michelle Pfeiffer and Robert De Niro zig and zag through a mythical kingdom populated by witches, ghosts, pirates and swashbuckling heroes. Based on a Neil Gaiman graphic novel.
All of these movies have potential, but let's face it — that new Die Hard flick has just about everything going against it, from its ludicrous title, to its aging star, to simply being fourth in a series that wore out its welcome after number two. As for Rush Hour 3, Chris Tucker hasn't appeared on screen in six years, and does anybody really care? Stardust is the dark horse here, but it does seem primed to attract Tolkien and Narnia junkies who have nothing better to spend their money on this summer.
Horribly Horrible Horrors
28 Weeks Later (May 11)
The zombie-generating epidemic of 28 Days Later continues, with edgy new director Juan Carlos Fresnadillo (Intacto) hopefully infusing some additional atmosphere and smarts into the gore.
Hostel II (June 8)
Young girls sliced and diced for fun and profit. A sequel sure to rekindle the old debate about whether the original Hostel really was Saw with brains, as many of us claimed, or just another mean little splatter flick.
Bug (May 25)
A subtler sort of horror, with Ashley Judd holed up in a hotel room while some sort of contamination rages outside. Based on a stage play and directed by William Friedkin (The Exorcist).
There's more on the horror-izon, too — another Saw wannabe called Captivity (May 18); the dueling werewolves opus Skinwalkers (July 27); a regurgitated Halloween from Rob Zombie (Aug. 31) and even a little ditty called Mr. Brooks (June 1), starring Kevin Costner as a family man who's secretly a serial killer. But when it comes to these kinds of movies, it's generally survival of the sickest, so the smart money's on Hostel II taking the cake this summer.
Kid Stuff
Ratatouille (June 29)
A rat gourmand is the unlikely hero of this latest offering from those animation geniuses at Pixar Studios (who, when we last checked, were still managing to make nice with Disney and not look like total whores). A foodie rat doesn't sound all that promising, but then again, who would have thought talking fish and toys could yield gold? Brad Bird (The Incredibles) directs.
Surf's Up (June 8)
Penguins. Cute, talking penguins. 'Nuff said.
Nancy Drew (June 15)
Adorable Emma Roberts, whose aunt is herself an adorable movie star (by the name of Julia), steps into the perfectly shined shoes of the famous tweener detective much loved by female readers of a certain age.
Underdog (Aug. 3)
No dog jokes, please. Jason Lee (My Name is Earl) provides the voice of the second coolest canine crime-fighter ever to have his own TV cartoon show. Scooby-Doo is marginally more appealing, but he rarely got to wear a cape.