examining thousands of hours of porn clips online. By corresponding with many of these actresses through various social networking sites like Twitter and Facebook, Wolf discovered a recurring theme. These women claimed they were not faking the pleasure they expressed during anal sex on camera and that they experienced what Dr. Wolf came to describe as a "total body orgasm."
After this preliminary research Dr. Wolf hypothesized that all women are born with a "back clitoris" hidden deep in their anal cavities that is even more difficult to activate properly than the vaginal form. He proposed that most women never realize the full potential of their back clitorises due to over anxious male lovers or their own reluctance to participate in anal sex.
To test his theory, Dr. Wolf personally examined hundreds of female escorts, porn stars, and sex workers who were paid a nominal fee. When asked why his research was limited to sex workers, Wolf had this to say:
"You don't need Freud to tell you that women never say what they mean. Unless you're dealing with someone who has been exposed to a wide variety of sexual experiences, it's difficult for women to open up and be honest about the pleasure my techniques provide them."
Using such tools as an MRI, a phallic shaped endoscope, a heart monitor, and several high definition cameras, Dr. Wolf found that he could produce multiple anal orgasms in nearly 90% of his test subjects.
Despite Dr. Wolf's excitement some scientists remain unconvinced, particularly his ex-wife, Dr. Shirley Wolf.
"For years Ray tried to convince me that anal sex would decrease my chances of getting colon cancer," Dr. Shirley Wolf said. "This 'back clit' thing is just his latest excuse to justify his obsession with anal sex."
She is not the only one skeptical of Dr. Ray Wolf's unconventional research. Before publishing this study on his blog, Dr. Wolf was dismissed from his position at Davenport College, an unaccredited online university, after he was accused of siphoning school funds to hire prostitutes. After his dismissal, Wolf continued conducting his study in a makeshift laboratory in his basement, funding the research out of his own pocket.
The one study subject who agreed to talk with us about the research seemed a bit more ambivalent about Dr. Wolf's discovery.
"I just thought he had a medical fetish," said Angie, an adult entertainer and single mother who Dr. Wolf flew out from Indiana to participate in the study. "He was shoving this metal dildo up my ass while talking to his camera about how I was about to have an ass orgasm. So I probably yelled something like, 'Oh yeah. You're going to make my ass cum.' I've done stranger things for money. I mean, I was in Assbusters 5 which was about these guys in janitors outfits flushing ghosts out of my ass."
To recover the tremendous funds he personally spent to conduct this research, Dr. Wolf plans to sell instructional videos from his sessions with Angie and other women explaining to male viewers how to stimulate the back clitoris. It will likely be years before more conventional studies verify or refute Dr. Wolf's findings. For now, the idea of an "anal orgasm" in women will likely occupy the position vacated by the debunked myth of the female orgasm.
Editor's Note: This blog is an April Fool's joke and should in no way be used as evidence to support your campaign to convince your girlfriend or wife to have anal sex. It may destroy your relationship.
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