The best worst pickup lines that just might work

Many guys make the mistake of using pickup lines on women they actually want to sleep with. This is wrong. Pickup lines should be reserved for recreational purposes only: as jokes among friends, on dares, or to keep yourself entertained at a boring bar.

Although modern man's attempts to sleep with women may be far less violent than those of our Cro-Magnan forefathers, our seduction tactics are often just as ridiculous: flowers, dates, a wink on Facebook. This isn't to say such flimsy attempts at romance don't work. Just like men, there are a lot of stupid women in the world. Besides, even the cheesiest pickup line can be effective given the right circumstances: the target lacks standards, doesn't speak your language, is drunk enough to think you're funny, or is interested in harvesting your kidneys.

Terrible pickup lines don't work as sincere attempts to seduce women of the non-prostitute variety. Pickup lines are great for many things, just not for

tempting quality women. With that said, here's a short list of the best worst pickup lines that just might work, at least to make you laugh or instigate a bar brawl.

-So what if you're not the hottest girl here. We can fix that at my place with a flip of the light switch.

-I'll bet you $50 you won't have sex with me.

-I heard you were into fat unemployed guys who live with their parents.

-Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

-If I asked you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?

-What would you like for breakfast tomorrow?

-Can I borrow your phone? I need to tell my mom I'm catching a ride home with you.

-Do you take American Express?

-What are you doing tonight around 4 a.m.?

-Do you have any Latin in you?... Do you want some?

-Relationships can take a toll on your emotional and physical health, as well as your bank account, so it's probably best we just stick to sex.

-Are you interested in making twenty bucks the hard way?

-How do you feel about brown paper bags?

-Do you have a boyfriend? Do you want another one? Do you mess around when he's away? Would you mind lying still while I do?

Follow Alfie on Twitter, Facebook, or at

Scroll to read more Tampa Bay News articles
Join the Creative Loafing Tampa Bay Press Club

Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state.
Help us keep this coverage going with a one-time donation or an ongoing membership pledge.


Join Creative Loafing Tampa Bay Newsletters

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.

We welcome readers to submit letters regarding articles and content in Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. Letters should be a minimum of 150 words, refer to content that has appeared on Creative Loafing Tampa Bay, and must include the writer's full name, address, and phone number for verification purposes. No attachments will be considered. Writers of letters selected for publication will be notified via email. Letters may be edited and shortened for space.

Email us at [email protected]