The Blotter

Bizarre crimes from Tampa police files

CANDY IS DANDY... Tampa Police responded to a complaint from a security guard at the Waterside Marriott hotel downtown who reported that two very intoxicated guests were causing a disturbance. Per the report, "The defendant and her boyfriend came back to the hotel from the 'M&M-Fiftycent' concert.'" Perhaps the sugar rush went to their heads, but after being refused service by the hotel's bars, the couple "screamed obscenities" at the staff and hotel patrons, "pushed a bar manager, and disrupted the normal course of business at the hotel." After a brief struggle with police and the threat of the always-dreaded Taser, the couple was taken into custody.

DO'S & DON'TS: There are times to call the police, and there are times to settle disputes on your own. To wit: In Tampa, police responding to reports of a couple fighting in a hotel room found the gashed suspects, the bathroom floor and the toilet all "covered in blood." That definitely sounds like a case for law enforcement (and some kind of industrial cleaner). Now the flip side: In St. Petersburg, a woman fighting with her husband called police for help. Once on the scene, the cops realized that the couple had been drinking, and "it was apparent that [the woman] had drank more than her husband." The husband stated that the woman's drinking had even been "the basis of their argument." The report went on to say, "Both parties agreed that they would both go to bed and talk about their problems in the morning." Over Bloody Mary's, we hope.

CASHED OUT: We're all in favor of putting the homeless to work, but... A man was arrested at the Bank of America on Westshore Boulevard in Tampa after a clever teller realized that the check the man was attempting to cash was actually a fake. Post-Miranda warning, the man explained to police that he was homeless. The previous evening, a man in a white Jeep approached him outside the Salvation Army on Florida Avenue, asked if he had a valid Florida driver's license (he did) and "if he wanted to make some fast and easy money." Per the suspect's story, the man in the Jeep took him to a hotel "somewhere on Hillsborough Ave.," where he spent the night alone. On the day of his arrest, the suspect was picked up by the man in the Jeep and driven to "an Amscot check cashing place," where Jeep-man pulled out what looked like a company check for $990 made out to the suspect. The suspect cashed the check and returned to the Jeep with the money. Next, the two men drove to the Bank of America, where a repeat performance led to the arrest. The mastermind in the white Jeep was not apprehended.

From the files of the T.P.D. & S.P.P.D.

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