The Blotter


BAKER ACT BLUES: Police responded to a four-car pile-up at the junction of Memorial Highway and I-275. As the investigation commenced, a tow truck driver approached one of the officers and informed him that an accident victim had "left his car in the road and tried to get in his [tow] truck." The officer approached the victim and instructed him to move his car from the road. Rather then comply, the dazed man attempted to walk past the cop and straight into oncoming traffic. The officer stopped him before he was pulverized, but the man simply tried to walk past the cop and into traffic once again. Sensing the guy was "obviously having some kind of mental problem," and after an altercation with the now handcuffed man in the back of the squad car, the guy was placed in the back of another officer's car for transportation to the hospital. Where was this guy in such a hurry to get to that he would walk into traffic? Per the transporting officer, "The victim advised that he was on his way to T.I.A. to board a flight to heaven."From the files of the T.P.D.


MUMBLING MAYHEM: Police arrived at Hess Express in response to a trespass request. The attendant complained that a man in the parking lot was scaring the customers. The customers had a simple reason for their fear: the man's excessive mumbling.SANDWICHES DON'T MAKE FRIENDS: A Checkers employee called the police after a married couple threw a sandwich at him. Police arrived to find the couple pounding on the window and screaming curse words at the employee. The couple confided in the police that they would simply like a new sandwich. Police supervised as the employee made them a new one, replacing the sandwich that they had catapulted.NAPPING NAKED: A Sarasota Memorial Hospital security guard discovered a man sleeping on the beach. It quickly became apparent that the man was both intoxicated and not wearing any pants. The man, wearing only a long sweatshirt and tennis shoes, ran off when the security guard threatened to call the police.WHOLE FOODS HUSTLE: Whole Foods Market employee chased away a bike thief after noticing the man trying to take apart the entire bike rack. The man was unbolting the bike rack's brackets in an attempt to steal all of the bikes at once.From the files of the Sarasota P.D.

Daina Crafa is new to the Blotter beat, and will be keeping tabs on Sarasota.

Blotter regular Joe Bardi handles all Tampa and St. Petersburg items and can be reached at [email protected].

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