W.W.J.D.? St. Petersburg police were called to a Ninth Avenue apartment in response to a report of domestic battery. Upon arrival they spoke to the victim, who explained that she and her boyfriend were expecting their first child and had been living together for about seven months. Per her statement, her boyfriend had been mad at her for the past few weeks, reporting her ATM card stolen so she couldn't use it and taking her name off the account. On the day in question, she claims he came home from work angry, and a physical altercation ensued after the victim told him "she is not sure their relationship is working out." His measured response, she alleged, was to hit her in the head, break some of her fingernails and flee the scene. The man's most identifying feature is his tattoo: a picture of Jesus, with the words "Only God Can Judge Me" written across it. The police decided to introduce the man to a lower court, tracking him down and placing him under arrest.
JUST SAY NO: A woman on 11th Avenue in St. Petersburg called police to report her "white twenty foot lawn trailer" stolen. It seems the owner lent it to her live-in boyfriend, when "… He asked to borrow her pick up truck and trailer to go do some tree trimming to make some money." While this was an admirable goal, the boyfriend is known to have a crack cocaine problem. Also, the woman agreed despite the fact that she knew her boyfriend "does not have a valid drivers license." Surprisingly, neither the trailer nor the boyfriend have been seen in days.
HUH? Sometimes, police reports offer only tantalizing clues as to what actually happened during an incident. For example, a St. Petersburg man stole "a transformer for outdoor lights" from another man's porch. The victim saw the crime as it happened and chased down the thief on the next block, where he recovered his equipment — and then some. Curiously, per the report, "The suspect left a bike, a jacket, and his shirt with the victim."
COP TALK: Two reports of "brawling" this week, "brawling" being police-speak for "kids fighting at school." The first of these reports comes from "Southside Fund. School," where the kids apparently aren't even sure how to fight. Per the report, "The Sub[ject] got in the Com[plaintaint]'s Face. The face then pushed the Sub. away."
The second "brawling" report comes from Bay Point Middle School, where a fairly standard hallway dustup gets a dramatic description. Surveillance tapes revealed two students exchanging words and getting into a 20-second scrap, which ended in "bear hugs," no injuries and both students in class. Police took no action since "It does appear that this was mutual combat."
From the files of the S.P.P.D.
This article appears in Sep 21-27, 2005.