The Blotter

ROAD WARRIORS: We've all been there. You're sitting in a turn lane waiting for the go signal, but when the green arrow appears the jackass in front doesn't budge. I usually give my horn a little tap, as a courtesy of course, to let the other driver know it's time to go. Sometimes, people get awfully touchy. Take this case involving two guys in a Toyota Tacoma pickup and a guy in a Honda Accord. For once, it's not the guys in the truck who are the bigger assholes.

ROUND ONE: The Toyota was stopped behind the Honda at the traffic light at the corner of N. Armenia Avenue, waiting to turn east onto W. Hillsborough Avenue in Tampa. When the light turned green the Honda did not budge, and the driver of the Tacoma honked his horn to get the Honda to move. The Honda did turn, but as it did the driver "stuck his left hand out the window and shot [the victim] a bird."

ROUND TWO: The Tacoma Guys should have just let it go. Instead, they drove alongside the Honda, shouted "Fuck you too," sped up and got ahead of the Honda. The driver of the Honda yelled "'fuck you' and then some other unidentifiable statements" (use your imagination), drove next to the pickup and threw a beer bottle at the truck, hitting the left side. As the suds dripped off the truck, Honda Man yelled out, "Do y'all want to get shot?"

ROUND THREE: The Tacoma Guys most definitely did not want to get shot, and took the threat seriously enough to call police. While getting the cops on the phone, Honda Man aggressively moved behind the Tacoma and began chasing it. Apparently the Tacoma Guys got a 911 operator who had never been chased in traffic, since they were advised "to stop where they were and wait for the police to arrive." When someone is threatening to shoot you, stopping and waiting for the cops is probably not the best plan. Instead, the Tacoma slowed down and the Honda soon gave up the chase, turning off at Highland Avenue.

ROUND FOUR: Why stop now? Since they only had half the Honda's tag number, the Tacoma guys turned around and went after the Honda, catching up to it at a nearby gas station. As the Tacoma's driver wrote down the complete tag number, Honda Man raced over, reached in the Tacoma and grabbed the driver's left arm. The driver used his other arm to put the truck in gear, and sped off as Honda Man tossed a steel trashcan at the truck (this time, he missed). It was worth it, however, as police were able to use the tag to track down Honda Man. After some denials, the man came clean and was taken into custody.

From the files of the T.P.D.

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