The Blotter

Bizarre crimes from Tampa police files

For the Kids: It's great to find parents willing to go to the mat for their kids. Case in point: the Tampa husband and wife arguing with a neighbor about their children. The report is unclear about the nature of the argument, but it must have been pretty intense since the neighbor became so enraged that she retreated back into her apartment and returned with a machete. You might assume that the introduction of a machete would be a conversation killer, but "all parties continued to argue during which time the defendant began swinging the machete at the complainants." At one point the wife even "picked up a stroller to block the blows." During the melee, the husband managed to shove his wife through the front door, following her inside and closing it behind him as the crazy neighbor hacked at the door and his arm. (The man sustained only minor bruising.) Police were called and the neighbor was arrested and charged with aggravated battery and assault, "as well as charges from an unrelated warrant."

Speaking of Kids: Adults need to find a happy medium between encouraging their children's curiosity and knowing when their thirst for knowledge is a little over the line. Case in point, the Tampa grandmother who thought it would be a good idea to let her 8-year-old granddaughter back the car out of the driveway. What could go wrong, right? Unfortunately, the little girl hit the gas too hard, lurched backward and somehow pinned grandma between a fence and the left front wheel. Granny sustained injuries to her left shoulder and right leg, and was taken to the hospital in serious but stable condition. The granddaughter was "not cited at this time," but will probably require a whole mess of driver's ed in the future.

OH, You Mean That Cement Mixer: Tampa police spotted a suspicious vehicle with its headlights off in a construction site on N. 22nd Avenue. Officers found two men in the van, "and neither could explain why they were inside the construction site." To make matters worse, they didn't really have a good answer for how a cement mixer from the site had gotten attached to the back of the van. Police took the men into custody and impounded the cement mixer pending an investigation, the results of which were charges of burglary and theft for the two hapless suspects.

From the files of the T.P.D.

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