CINDY SHEEHAN QUITS
Life in shambles and tired of criticism, anti-war activist instead takes a job as a Wal-Mart greeter.
MISS AMERICA TRIPS AND FALLS
Seven personal-injury lawyers immediately comforted her backstage.
FREE FERGIE CONCERT AT RUTH ECKERD HALL
At least they priced it appropriately.
"SEX ADDICT" SUES IBM FOR FIRING HIM
Who hasn't spent all day cruising adult sex chat rooms instead of working?
CHARLES NELSON REILLY, 1931-2007
Half of you just said, "Who?" Half of you said, "That really gay guy always bitching at Brett Somers on Match Game." No one said, "Tony Award-winning actor and Broadway director." Except you, David.
SCHWARZENEGGER DROPS PUCK AT STANLEY CUP OPENER
First time on the ice since being banished for killing Subzero in The Running Man.
THE YIDDISH POLICEMAN'S UNION
Michael Chabon writes the must-read book of 2007.
FALLING MAN
Don DeLillo writes the must-pretend-to-have-read book of 2007.
THE START OF SUMMER VACATION
Our kids are having a helluva lot more fun than we are. It's starting to piss us off.
