8:21 Performance: "This is Coldplay." Looks like just Chris Martin to me. Oh, and now Jay-Z just showed up. And here's the band. I don't know what song they're playing, I assume it's the single from their latest album. I'm not so much a fan.
8:27 Keith Urban introduces a lifetime achievement award for Gene Autry and then Carrie Underwood performs a song that is -- what? An adaptation of an Autry song? Her own song? I don't really understand what's happening here and I'm not liking it. [Phil (my husband): "I keep wondering if her labia is going to come out. I can freeze frame it when it happens."]
8:32 LeeAnn Rhimes and Sheryl Crow give some award, lifetime something (who?), and award for Best Country Duo/Group Performance with Vocals: "Stay," Sugarland. Yucky.
8:40 Al Green and Duffy present Song of the Year: "Viva la Vida," Coldplay. (This is what they performed. Not too into it. Too AC. But I guess we all knew that's where they were always headed, right?)
8:43 Kid Rock performs. (He's a double nominee, really?) Is the song "Amen"? I don't know it. Big old US flag behind him. Then, into a "Sweet Home Alabama" mash up of sorts. MM. Not sure how I feel about this. One thing I can say is, Kid Rock is a hardy motherfucker. I never thought he'd be able to stretch his career so far. Another song, it's a medley! I don't know this song either. "I'm a rock n' roll Jesus." [Okay, maybe this is all one song?]
MORE FROM THE RUMOR MILL: Chris Brown possibly in trouble for battering Rihanna, she in hospital, he M.I.A? This shiz just keeps getting jucier.
8:55 Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus perform. Snore. Both are pretty gals with nice voices, I grant. [Phil: "It's nice they include pedophile masterbation breaks at the Grammy's now."] Then they present Best Pop Collaboration with Vocals: "Please Read the Letter," by Robert Plant and Alison Krauss. Cool.
9 p.m. Jennifer Hudson performs. Seems like the sound is off a little. Maybe she's lip-syncing? Okay, maybe she's not lip-syncing. Her performance seems pretty heartfelt.
9:09 The Jonas Brothers with Stevie Wonder, who's apparently breaking the all-time record for performances at the Grammy's with tonight's guest spot. Stevie is, of course, great. The pasty white Bros. are a bit lame. And the kid in coral, he's the happy one, right?
9:14 Blink 182 present Best Rock Album: Coldplay, Viva La Vida or Death and All His Friends [Phil: "Coldplay is dressed like queer Sgt. Pepper."]
Oh, my, God, this shit is so freaking long. I'm over it already.
9:22 Craig Ferguson. I like this guy. Up for a Grammy for Best Solo Performance in a Sex Tape. Haha. He introduces Katy Perry. I feel this way about Katy Perry: Meh. And if I never hear this song again ...
9:27 Kayne West performs with Estelle [I don't know who she is]. I can't help it, I like Kanye despite all his big-headedness. Or, as Diddy would say, bitchassness. Sounds like the backing track needs to be turned up, though. I think Kanye is trying to bring back '89 with that jacket. Then, he gives Best New Artist: Adele. Nice! A UK "heartbreakin soul" singer wins over the Jonas Brothers! Loves it! She performs on two different late nights this week.
Update: The gal who was performing with Kanye was Estelle.
9:36 Morgan Freeman. I just saw The Bucket List this weekend, hah! He's here to introduce "poet, performer, pirate, dreamer, friend" ... Kenny Chesney! I didn't expect that! I know why Renee Zellweger left ya -- 'cause you're a depressing ass motherfucker!
9:40 Diddy, Natalie Cole and Herbie Hancock present Record of the Year: "Please Read The Letter," Alison Krauss and Robert Plant.
9:48 Queen Latifah gives a lifetime achievement award to Dean Martin; then introduces four superstar artists,
Lil Wayne, Jay-Z, T.I. and Kanye West with a very pregnant M.I.A. A mash-up. Not familiar with this. I say: Meh.
9:54 Kate Beckinsale is talking about Macca (Paul McCartney), I think... she introduces Macca (nominee) with Dave Grohl: "I Saw Her Standing There" (Grohl on drums). He can do no wrong...
10:04 Jack Black and Charlie Hayden, the latter of whom is apparently the former's father-in-law and up for a Grammy; another lifetime achievement award, jazz master Hank Jones. Then, the duo introduce Best Male Pop Vocal: "Say," John Mayer.
10:07 Jay Mohr and LL Cool J present a live performance by Sugarland and Adele. Sugarland is the country duo. Adele is solo, then is joined by the Sugarland lady. Me likes Adele better.
10:19 Gwyneth Paltrow looking hot in a tiny little sparkly dress introduces Radiohead with USF Trojan Marching Band, "15 Steps." Thom York's looking a little scragglier than usual. I like the idea of the marching band doing all the percussion, I just don't know if it really works so well. I feel like maybe there's too much going on?
10:28 Samuel L. Jackson talks some gibberish about making music, then introduces T.I. and (his buddy) Justin Timberlake. I like this. It's, dare I say, classy? And from a dude who's about to do a year in jail for illegal possesion of firearms. Although, you could argue that anything Timberlake does classes it up a bit. I think this is my favorite performance of the night thus far, even more than Radiohead.
10:34 Yakking by President of the Recording Academy > soap box request a cabinet position for a Secretary of the Arts to promote our stuff on a worldwide level. Obama a Grammy winner? I wasn't paying attention... sorry.
10:30 Out comes Smokey Robinson to honor the Four Tops with a lifetime acheivement award. (I guess they give out several a night.) Robinson is then joined by sole surviving Four Tops member Duke Fakir, Robinson, Ne-Yo and Jamie Foxx for a medly performance of "I'll Be There" > ? > "I Can't Help Myself."
10:50 Neil Diamond performs "Sweet Caroline"
10:54 RIP everybody -- Richard Wright, Jerry Wexler, Freddie Hubbard, Jimmy McGriff, Eddy Arnold, Odetta, Jo Stafford, Levi Stubbs, Merl Saunders, Delaney Bramlett, Alton Ellis, Earle Hagen, Isaac Hayes, George Carlin, Bo Diddley, others I didn't get ... and a performance by BB King, Buddy Guy, John Mayer, and Keith Urban. Nice stuff.
11:03 Lil Wayne performs with Robin Thicke and Allen Touissant; Gary Sinise introduces. Full on band with dancers, brass section (NOLA-natives obviously), Terrence Blanchett?, etc. Ah, Dirty Dozen Brass Band!
11:10 Will.i.am and T-Pain present Best Rap Album: Lil Wayne. Was there ever any question?
11:18 Zoey Deschanel (actress, recently of She & Him with M. Ward) presents T. Bone Burnett with Robert Plant and Alison Krauss performing "?" Another medley?
11:23 Green Day gives the final Grammy of the night, Album of the Year: Raising Sand, Robert Plant and Alison Krauss. I will say I thought for sure it was going to Radiohead for In Rainbows, but I suppose Plant/Krauss was a suitable second choice. Or first, if you're the Grammy Judges...
11:27 Closing with Stevie Wonder. If all else fails, turn to the master. Good night, folks!
