GLORY HOLES Donuts donuts donuts. I love every shape, size and flavor of donuts. Stolen donuts are the best. Sometimes I meander around the Publix with sugar-encrusted lips from a donut I'm eating, and which I plan on finishing before arriving at the check-out line.
Dove Triple Chocolate Ice Cream bars The cutting edge of dessert ... until the development of Quadruple Chocolate.
Checkers French Fries There's nothing quite like a mouthful of cooking oil
Checkers Chili Dog Keep a defibrillator handy.
Crab Rangoon To make sure it's as deep-fried, fatty and delectable as possible, order only from Chinese fast food restaurants.
Chorizo Fuendido at Miguels (Tampa) Its a heart attack in a tortilla, the spicy chorizo sausage generating more grease than a rockabilly convention. You'll pay for it later, but it's worth every agonizing second.
Caramel Walnut Pie from Village Inn (Tampa & St. Pete) Or Village Inn pies in general. They are called "evil" by some people. These people do not know of what they speak.
Nerds (any flavor) It's like the gravel on the bottom of a freshwater aquarium, only you can eat it.
Egg and Cheese Sandwiches on EGGO You got the egg and the cheese - but then you get the waffle. This is pretty much everything you need.
Mac & Cheese at Alessi's So rich, so fat, so good. I almost puked.
Rice Krispies Some of us eat them for dinner at least twice a week. We are not proud of it.
The Publix Fried Chicken Tender Sandwich It's a foot long - go ahead, measure it. And be sure to ask for extra mayo.
Mayo On anything, anywhere, anytime. Would eat it by itself, just by the spoonful, if it were socially acceptable.
Any Cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory G'head, eat the whole thing. Bowel movements are overrated, anyway.
Rack O' Ribs at Selmon's (Tampa) A meal fit for Fred Flintstone.
Two-bite Brownies at Publix The round ones - when 15 is not enough.
Shelled Pistachios A good source of protein in addition to being the tastiest little green nuts on the planet (and the fattiest). Fails to be a healthy snack, however, when you eat half the bag in one sitting.
Mounds Bar Coconut and chocolate. A classic.
Any Mixed Drink from The Hub (Tampa) You weren't using that liver, were you?
McDonald's Sausage, Egg and Cheese Biscuit You can hide the wrapper, but you can't hide that lingering scent of grease and those telltale crumbs in your beard/hair/sweater/etc. And you'd think Super Size Me would have scared us off.
The Eighth Bud Lite Kind of mitigates the whole "Lite" idea.