The jerk store called

Scientists Create Sheep That Are 15 percent Human
They vote party-line Republican.

Stanton Firing Upheld
Commissioners go one step further and order city attorney to review employee files and purge gays, lesbians, bisexuals, Jews, Mormons and Prius owners.

Anna Nicole Autopsy
The official result: "'Twas beauty killed the beast."

IKEA Coming to Tampa
Affordable Euro-furniture in a box, yuppie feel-good surroundings: There's goes our work productivity stats right down the drain.

Property Tax Reform
Patchwork legislative plan allows Floridians to choose their own tax option — property, sales or "pop a balloon and pay the tax on the paper slip inside."

Deadbeat Dads to Be Pictured on Pizza Boxes
They will all be depicted as little Italian chefs with handlebar mustaches hoisting steaming pies.

Survey: 30 Percent Don't Have, Don't Want Internet
"We get our porn the old-fashioned way — behind the counter at the 7-Eleven."

The Who
Daltrey is all right, but Townshend's guitar heroics save the day.

Elton John Turns 60
The bitch is back.

Hockey Knockout
Vicious right-hand KO in the Rangers-Flyers game begs the question: Why can't boxing be this exciting?


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