The joy of (butt) sex

That was fifteen years ago. Nowadays I've become a wanton butt-slut; most of the time I even prefer it in my ass over my pussy. I regularly use dildos that are bigger than my hubby's cock. And I do some kind of ass play—with enemas, dildos, or human partner —about three or four days a week.


The point of my telling you this is to illustrate that it's ok to go slowly when getting into anal play. Especially if one partner is really hot for it and the other is merely lukewarm, it's vital to take your time.


I wish I had time to write a personal response to everyone who has sent me a question about butt-sex in the past few months; alas there are not enough hours in the day for everything on my to-do list. Fortunately most of those questions can be grouped into roughly three categories: people who want to learn to take it bigger and/or deeper, people who're having issues with poo-mess, and people who're just starting out and going "Ow, that hurts!"


For the fastidious folks in the second group, my advice is this: enemas. And I'll be posting a whole article on enemas soon I promise. But for those who are just learning to take it up the ass, or those who're trying to work up to bigger objects, I recommend lots of patient practice.


When you're just getting started with anal play try to keep in mind that there's a LOT that can be done besides butt fucking. Caressing the anus with fingers, tongues and toys is not only pleasurable in itself but helps to establish trust and comfort that'll allow the butt-sex bottom to open up and enjoy it. This kind of intimate anal touch establishes another kind of security too: it reassures the bottom that the top is finding the whole thing arousing and not gross. It's hard to feel sexy if you're constantly worried your partner is disgusted! Another example from my own life: when I developed hemorrhoids during my pregnancies, my husband spent quite a bit of time lovingly massaging my bumhole with Preparation H cream. I'm absolutely certain those months of anal massage, which weren't even meant as a prelude to fucking, contributed hugely to making me the assfuck enthusiast I am today.


So as you're starting out it's important to proceed with patience. If you're the top, or hoping to be the top, keep reminding yourself that it's better in the long run to leave your bottom filled with frustrated longing than to risk turning them off anal altogether with a rushed and painful experience. As you continue with your anal 'training' the key becomes persistence. It's just like any other kind of physical training really: the more you do, and the more often you do it, the better results you'll see. Using a butt plug every once in a while is fun but it won't give you the same results as wearing it an hour a day every day for six weeks.


In my experience the loosening effect you get from wearing a medium-sized butt plug lasts about a day. But that's if you only wear it occasionally. After a week or two of daily use you should be finding it a lot easier to take the average sized dick or dildo, and the effects will last for several days. After a few months of daily training you may see a permanent impact on how much more open your asshole is to being penetrated.


Of course, how 'permanent' that effect really is depends on whether you keep up the anal play! "Use it or lose it" applies just as much to sphincter flexibility as to any other kind of stretchiness. But once you've reached the degree of anal relaxation you're happy with, you can stop the daily plugging and taper back to a play schedule that just maintains your elasticity. Of course, by then you might not want to stop.


For those horny folks who're having trouble getting the great big things they want stuffed in their butts, I recommend that you keep up the daily training and continue increasing the size of the object. If you're training to accommodate a well-hung lover you should aim to take a plug that's a little larger than the cock in question. If you're just a size queen, well, they make dildos as big as your arm. Keep working your way up one size at a time until you feel sufficiently stuffed. And remember that the hershey highway is a winding road; it doesn't go in a straight line but twists and turns back on itself. A more flexible toy might better accommodate these bends. if you're having trouble going deep you can also try changing position. You might get a couple extra inches just by flipping from back to front or vice versa.


Several of you have asked me what's the largest thing possible to take up your ass. The answer to that really depends on your individual anatomy. I've personally had my not-tiny arm up to the elbow inside someone else's bum. On the other hand I've rarely managed to get anything much bigger than a Doc Johnson medium butt plug in my own ass. (Not that I've been trying terribly hard mind you.) What I do know is that patience, persistence, and lots and lots of lube are your best bets for helping you get bigger junk in your trunk.


Good luck and happy (butt) fucking!


P.S. to Matt W. with the well-endowed boyfriend - I'm so sorry I wasn't able to answer your letter before the big day. Hope the birthday buttfuck was all you hoped it would be!




See more of Mistress Erisiana Cherie at
SlavegirlSissy.com ~ The Silken Trap ~ GoddessCherie.com ~ Mon Cherie Amor

click to enlarge Tanya Tate in Weird Science XXX - televisionx.com
televisionx.com
Tanya Tate in Weird Science XXX

click to enlarge Tanya Tate in Weird Science XXX - televisionx.com
televisionx.com
Tanya Tate in Weird Science XXX
  • televisionx.com
  • Tanya Tate in Weird Science XXX

The first time I let a boyfriend put his dick in my ass I was about seventeen. I didn't really want to do it—he was the one who was gung-ho to try it—but I wasn't exactly squicked by it either. Still, I was mainly doing it to please him, and I didn't make any effort at all to "train" myself for it. We used lube but it still hurt, and after a couple of minutes of me lying there silent and grimacing he pulled out and that was the end of it.

By the time I moved in with the man I'm now married to, I actively wanted to have butt sex. We used lube, and did some prep work with fingers and small toys, and although it was still challenging, I learned to take his thick seven inches pretty comfortably. I liked it too... but I still had a quota: I'd do it no more than eight times a year.

Scroll to read more Tampa Bay News articles
Join the Creative Loafing Tampa Bay Press Club

Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state.
Help us keep this coverage going with a one-time donation or an ongoing membership pledge.

Newsletters

Join Creative Loafing Tampa Bay Newsletters

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.

We welcome readers to submit letters regarding articles and content in Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. Letters should be a minimum of 150 words, refer to content that has appeared on Creative Loafing Tampa Bay, and must include the writer's full name, address, and phone number for verification purposes. No attachments will be considered. Writers of letters selected for publication will be notified via email. Letters may be edited and shortened for space.

Email us at [email protected]