The Modern Virgin: Will it ever happen?

69-ing is fine and dandy, but it is completely different than having a man inside you and looking him in the eyes while he is fucking you. To be honest I have started to wonder if I will ever lose my virginity. I know this sounds dramatic. I am only 20 and I have never been in a serious relationship or even really dated. Part of me suspects that I have had trouble with these other areas of relationships because I have never had sex. I wonder if I made the wrong decision by saying no to the first guy who wanted to have sex with me when I was 13?

Yes, I may give great head - but it's still just head. Yes, I am fun to be with, but I always get trapped in the friend zone. As a modern virgin I am stuck in a limbo between prude-virgin and dirty-slut.

In my last post I left off sexting a sexy football player named Ken. After continuing to flirt, the control freak in me, and his need for spontaneous hook-ups, led us to a temporary separation. I came home for the summer while he remains at school. Hopefully we can pick up where we left off in the fall, when he will be the second man to have sex with me. Although the thought of losing my virginity to a giant black man would be a great story for my memoir one day, my poor vajayjay is a bit more cautious. More importantly I don't think I would be comfortable with Ken for my first time. He has been with many beautiful and experienced women in his life and I don't want to worry about competing with anyone my first time. I've decided a test guy is definitely the way to go. He needs to be a summer fling, someone I'm comfortable with, a guy to go out with and have fun with and fuck all summer. So how do I find such a guy?

Online dating is great in theory. I don't even have to put pants on to meet new guys. In reality it's probably just as hard to meet quality men online as it is in real life. There are millions of pervs willing to do anything to pop my cherry and all the men my age seem only to be interested in casual sex, though not with a virgin.

Well, one guy has already caught my attention long enough for me to tell him I'm a modern virgin. We even met up for one of the most interesting hook-ups I have ever had. Keep reading next week to find out what happened with this new online suitor.

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Love and sex have always been my nemeses. I am a self proclaimed control freak and perfectionist who must do everything myself. This attitude doesn't exactly work when it comes to sex and relationships. Ironically, all I have ever really wanted was to have that kind of intimacy with another person. Perhaps I need a man to help me lose control. For all my longing I have never woken up in a man's arms, had the feeling of giving and receiving pleasure simultaneously, or had a boyfriend have his way with me because he just couldn't wait any longer.

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