BEST PLACE TO BUY AND READ COMICS OF MYSELF
Comics Club Inc.
Comics Club Inc., 723 W. Lumsden Road, Brandon, 813-653-4111.
BEST PLACE TO SIT AND PLOT REVENGE
Corner booth in any Applebees.
Locations throughout Tampa Bay.
BEST PLACE TO PURCHASE GUNS AND AMMO
Discount Guns
Ask for Mark.
Discount Guns, 4821 Busch Blvd., Tampa, 813-988-4956.
BEST PLACE FOR A STAKEOUT
Mons Venus
Mons Venus, 2040 N. Dale Mabry, Tampa, 813-875-2762.
BEST PLACE TO BUY A BLACK LEATHER TRENCH COAT
Burlington Coat Factory
Burlington Coat Factory, locations throughout Tampa Bay.
BEST PLACE TO CLEAN YOUR GUN
The alley behind Columbia Restaurant in Ybor City. Don't stand on the train tracks.
2117 E. Seventh Ave., Ybor City, 813-248-4961.
BEST PLACE TO BURY YOUR FAMILY WHO WERE MURDERED BY MOBSTERS
Graveyard Downtown
Why, you ask? Because it's on the way to Mons for the previously mentioned stakeouts.
Oaklawn Cemetery, located at Morgan and Harrison streets in downtown Tampa.
BEST PLACE TO TAIL YOUR MARK
Mons Venus
Mons Venus, 2040 N. Dale Mabry, Tampa, 813-875-2762.
BEST PLACE TO DUMP A BODY
Tampa aquifers, outgoing pipe #43. Bring a three-quarters inch socket to open the grate.
BEST PLACE TO GET NEW SKULL SHIRTS MADE TO INSTILL FEAR IN SCUM
Red Onion
Slip a $20 to the guy behind the counter.
Red Onion, 1804 E. Third Ave., Ybor City, 813-248-2615.
BEST PLACE TO TORTURE AND INTERROGATE SCUM
Café Beer Bellies (during karaoke)
Café Beer Bellies, 5016 E. Busch Blvd., Tampa, 813-985-4850.
BEST PLACE TO VIEW THE SUNSET WHILE TORTURING SCUM
Carol Ann Condo Hotel — Fourth floor
Carol Ann Condo Hotel, 11360 Gulf Blvd., Treasure Island, 727-367-1991 or www.carolanncondohotel.com.
BEST PLACE TO MEET A FILM DIRECTOR
The Hub, end of the bar.
The Hub, 719 N. Franklin St., Tampa, 813-229-1553.
BEST BUILDING TO BLOW UP FOR MY MOVIE
Walther Industries
Walther Industries, Dale Mabry at I-275, just north of Cypress Avenue.
Death … death … kill … revenge… l have no more time to sit and type such drivel. I must kill all scum!!
This article appears in Sep 25 – Oct 1, 2003.