1. Lay the groundwork; the afternoon before, mention to co-workers that you feel stuffy and lightheaded.
2. Apply sunscreen liberally. You can't convince the boss you were laid up with the crud if you have a farmer's tan and are red in the face except where your sunglasses blocked the rays.
3. Don't play hooky to prep for the big concert if there is any chance that your co-workers are going to be there, too.
4. Don't call in sick from the beach; the cries of seagulls in the background are a dead giveaway.
5. Sing along to a Tom Waits CD for at least one hour before calling in sick to get that perfect gravel in your voice.
6. Don't tell anyone at work, even your most trusted friend. Your secret will get out anyway.
7. If caught, tell your boss that you've been working for more hours than you get paid for anyway and you deserve to play hooky.
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This article appears in May 9-15, 2007.
