The Short List

Ah, I love how big business takes care of the little guys.

Who cares if it’s safe? “It still sells,” said an employee of the biggest child-care car seat manufacturer in the U.S.

According to Oprah, “doctors found that men who stopped smoking experienced a rise in sperm count of up to 800%!” Conversely, guys who stopped drinking stopped knocking up ugly Betties 2000%.

Also for those trying to get preggie, a study says many home cleansers are linked to fertility problems, especially because the mood kinda gets lost when watching ones’ spouse on bended knee scrubbing the toilet.

This underdog is barely back from a brief retirement - and is not only already in trouble — but ready to upset the champ.

That’s so gay! Almost. Well, depending how you look at it. OK, uh, maybe not.

Steven Spielberg wrote a letter to Chinese president Hu Jintao to put the smack down in Darfur, reasoning that the Sudanese oil that fuels China’s economy is like “pocket change compared to what you’ve made off of pirated DVD copies of E.T and Indiana Jones.” (I paraphrased there just a bit.)

The headline: Republicans Like Giuliani's Electability. The story: They hate him for everything else.


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