Bedtime for Gonzo!
- New job posting on whitehouse.org: The Bush Administration seeks a new Attorney General. Qualified Applicants must be loyal, secretive and willing to do whatever the president says. Legal knowledge a plus but not required.
- Ex U.S. Treasury Secretary Larry Summers warns a U.K. paper that the U.S. may be headed for a recession. On Bush's watch? No way!
- A big time fight is brewing between the national Democratic party and the state of Florida over the date of the Florida primary election in 2008. How about we do it next week? At least that would save us all the months of non-stop television ads claiming Obama's a worthless child and Hillary's the anti-Christ.
- Who needs some opium? I think I know where you can find some.
- Hulk Hogan's son body slams his Toyota into a tree in Clearwater, leaving the passenger in critical condition.
- A parrot who thinks he's a dog gets animal-napped from a Tampa pet store.
- Say it ain't so Owen Wilson. Say it ain't so …
- Roger Ebert gives a Disney contract offer "Thumbs down," then gets litigious over the whole mess. Never fuck with the fat man.
This article appears in Aug 22-28, 2007.