Free drugs, price cuts, new owners, nervous investors, lying public officials, stoned batsmen, shocking stats and record heat. We've got it all today.
- Publix announces it's giving away free drugs!!! Sadly, all the drugs are of the legal variety and by prescription only.
- The Tampa Bay Lightning have been sold to a group known as "Absolute Hockey." Vodka was not involved. (We think.)
- Too good to be true: Florida State Rep. Bob Allen (R) claims the reason he offered an undercover officer in a park bathroom $20 for oral sex was because of all the black guys wandering around outside.
- For once it's not just us: The rest of the country is sweltering in the heat as well.
- Stock analyst (and full-time sheep herder) Jim Cramer blows a gasket on CNBC.
- Psychology Today parades out five "shocking stats" about men's sex lives. Biggest surprise: The Hemingway/F. Scott Fitzgerald dialogue on penis size.
- Headline of the week: "Pro-pot sluggers dominating congressional softball league." (This one also gets Best Sports Team Name: The One Hitters.)
- Microsoft announces a price cut on the XBox 360.