Welcome to today's Short List S.A.T. Exam. Everyone ready for the big test? OK, pencils ready â¦ begin!
- You are the president of a Western "Super" power with about 130,000 troops in a foreign land you occupied almost 5 years ago fighting a host of insurgent groups and terrorists. In an effort to stem the bloodshed, you "surge" your troop strength by about 30,000, but the strategy has no real effect. Do you: a) Pull everybody out, b) Reduce the force by 1/2 and vacate the population centers, c) Give it more time, or d) Call "do over!" and try the same ridiculous strategy again?
- A member of the Dow Jones company is attempting to block media mogul Rupert Murdoch's $5 billion attempted takeover of the Wall Street Journal because: a) He worries about the integrity of the Journal being damaged, b) He doesn't want to see the family-controlled company fall into an outsider's hands, c) He thinks Murdoch is a money-mad pirate who would destroy the paper, or d) All of the above?
- Music companies make big bucks off their back catalogs, hawking albums made years and years ago. Which album released in the last 27 years sold over 400,000 copies last year: a) Metallica's "Black Album, " b) AC/DC's Back In Black, c) Asia's self-titled debut, or d) Michael Jackson's Thriller?
- Big-box retailer and media whipping boy Wal-Mart will soon begin selling Jesus action figures because: a) They have an amazing amount of reverence for The Lord, b) Wal-Mart's customers have demanded the store carry religious idol action figures, c) Buddha was unavailable, or d) There's money to be made soaking religious folk with borderline-offensive products?
- At the turn of the 20th century a young doctor named William B. Coley stumbled onto an effective cancer treatment (still not understood by doctors) after he cured several patients by: a) Aggressive amputations, b) leeches, c) injecting bacteria straight into the tumor, or d) Licking the infection point until the cancer cells were all gone?
- What the hell is this? a) A baby hippo, b) A genetically engineered super pet, c) The world's ugliest toddler, or d) Who knows, but don't let it touch me!
- Tampa Taxi Tom is planning to run for congress because: a) He drove Kathy Castor's chief of staff and didn't like what the guy had to say, b) there are some amazing, large-chested middle-aged hotties in D.C., c) Tom is untainted by the ongoing D.C. Madam scandal, d) Jesus told him to do it?