The Water Cooler: Charlie in a Speedo?; Don’t snicker at Snitker; the Delaware Dummy

What people are talking about in politics

By Chris Ingram

Charlie Crist’s new ad

It may have taken him four times to pass the Florida Bar exam, but Charlie Crist is not a complete dummy and can in fact spell “American.”  In his new ad he even takes the words “Democrat” and “Republican” and forms them to spell “American.” Forget the fact that this is probably the most challenging thing Charlie has done in the last year and just consider there was a brief clip in the ad where “Pander Pants” Crist looks stumped as to what letter to select next – perhaps the producers threw that in for authenticity — Chuckles’ intellectual capacity may mirror a 5th grader’s, but his political and “people” skills are second to none.

Charlie is being Charlie. He is appealing to the wind. He’s going with the flow. He is taking positions and answering questions however his pollsters tell him to based on what you the voting public say is important to you. Tax cuts? Check. Gay rights? Check. No Obama-care? Check. Wait! Double check with pollster. Clarify via press release and avoid the I-HOP for two weeks. Check. Vanilla ice cream, not chocolate? Check.

Seriously, if the Tan Man’s pollster told him he could win this election if he stood on Main Street in Altoona wearing a rhinestoned thong Speedo with a sign that said “I’d kill Flipper for a Tuna Fish sandwich,” this empty suit would do it.

Someone please wake me up from this nightmare…this politically androgynous gnome is going to get elected to the U.S. Senate!

Don’t Snicker at Snitker

Alex Snitker, Florida’s libertarian candidate for the U.S. Senate remains the underdog of underdogs (Meek being the first underdog). But given that he’s the only somewhat major candidate in the race for the U.S. Senate in Florida who is not under some sort of cloud of ethical or legal investigation, he looks attractive.

Charlie is Charlie, Meek isn’t ready for primetime, and Rubio has more flaws than a ’78 Ford Pinto.

Among this bunch, Rubio has the best message and speaks more straightforwardly about what the ills of America are – including honest talk about how to fix Social Security. But it’s hard to take a guy seriously and believe he’s being honest when he has so many problems with doing the right thing himself (RPOF Amex card spending, near foreclosure on his investment property, a six figure unadvertised “teaching” jobs at a university he secured millions for while House Speaker, the list goes on) and looks like just another career politician.

Snitker has a good message about limited government, less spending, and lower taxes plus most of the usual Libertarian talking points about personal responsibility and keeping government out of the social aspects of life.

He’s no Rhodes Scholar, but then again Rhodes Scholars and Ivy League types (and lawyers) are probably more to blame for the mess we’re in than anyone. Voters are looking for a real change in Washington, and Snitker and his naivete would help deliver it.

If you haven’t heard of him, he believes there is a reason: he is a victim of the media. He claims he doesn’t get the media’s attention because he doesn’t score high enough in the polls, and that he doesn’t score higher in the polls because he can’t get the media’s attention. This is partly true. The other side of the story is that other than polls, the media is almost singularly focused on fundraising as a barometer of a candidate’s potential success. Money certainly is an important indicator, but reporters also like this story because they are lazy and it’s an easy story to write – as opposed to writing a story like “What makes Alex Snitker tick?” which requires research and thought.

So since Snitker hasn’t raised money, to the media, he’s a non-factor. But the media is often wrong. Remember that guy Mike McCalister who got 10 percent in the G.O.P. Primary in Florida’s gubernatorial race? He didn’t poll well or raise much money either. The day after the election a lot of media had egg on their face. It appears they are slow learners…

Fashion note to Alex: tame the hair gel, you look like you fell into a can of Penzoil.

Delaware’s Mint Julep

Like a mint julep, she looks sweet but once you’ve had a taste, you realize you should’ve ordered a Bud Lite. Delaware Republican U.S. Senate candidate Christine O’Donnell may be a whack job (no pun intended) with no chance of winning, but the G.O.P.’s problems aren’t with O’Donnell. The problem rests with the fact the party leaders are slow learners. Very slow. As in, after getting thrown out of control of both houses of Congress and the White House in 2008 they still don’t get that most hard-working Republicans are tired of the double-talking smack that still permeates from Washington’s G.O.P. leaders.

American’s want better government and they want it now. The one thing they know is they won’t get it from “established” or “establishment” candidates. These are the people who created the mess we’re in. Voters are willing to take a chance with some fool like O’Donnell than get more of the same from the pick of the party bosses.

Question is, when will lessons learned start to bear the fruit of viable and serious candidates? Right now sloppy candidates like O’Donnell fill the GOP’s lineup in several states and they threaten to doom the party’s prospects of retaking control of Congress.

It didn’t have to be. If only the party bosses quit believing what they want to believe and actually listened to Republican voters. Like the media, the Republican establishment is filled with slow learners. 

Chris Ingram is the president and founder of 411 Communications a corporate and political communications firm, and publisher of www.IrreverentView.com. Ingram is a frequent pundit on Fox News and CNN, and has written opinion columns for the Washington Times, UPI, and National Review online. He is the Republican political analyst for Bay News 9, the only 24 hour all news channel in Florida’s largest media market.

E-mail Chris at: Chris@IrreverentView.com.

This article appears in Sep 16-22, 2010.