This Year's Election Woes

Oh, they're not that bad.

(1) The aftermath of the Buchanan-Jennings U.S. House race is proceeding in
Sarasota County (Buchanan won by 377 out of 238,000 votes, with 18,000
nonvotes, which would be 15,000 more than the norm), first with a recount of
absentee and provisional ballots, then with technicians coming in to
sŽance with the machines themselves, with a hearing tomorrow on what
the rules for that will be. [Miami Herald]

(2) And jokesters around the world have had fun with one absentee ballot in
Broward that was mailed with the inverted-airplane error stamp (value if
real: $300k). Oh, those hopeless Floridians, they said, especially since the
ballot was DQ'd anyway, for lack of a signature on the outside. But Yr
Editor laid off of it, believing to a near-certainty that it was merely the
recently-reissued replica stamp, a fact which seemingly didn't occur to
credulous editors everywhere. And now a Sarasota resident who voted absentee
in Broward has confessed. [Sarasota Herald-Tribune]

(3) And ex-computer programer Clint Curtis, who challenged U.S. Rep. Tom
Feeney in the district around Titusville and New Smyrna, lost big (58-42)
but said he's not conceding until someone investigates just why the official
results didn't match a Zogby poll and his internal polling. (Curtis is the
guy who once swore to a U.S. House committee that he was asked by Republican Feeney in 2000 to design a vote-machine hack for south Florida.) [press release] [BradBlog]

(4) And no technical expertise was needed for Gibbs High School (St.
Petersburg) teacher Sharion Thurman, 56 (who had her unpaid suspension
approved by the school board this week). She had ham-handedly stuffed the
homecoming-queen ballot box for her niece. [St. Petersburg Times]

Sports Section
UF campus hero Jarvis Moss (he blocked a crucial extra point and the
last-second field goal by South Carolina on Saturday) was reportedly
suspended at least one game for testing positive for dope [Gainesville Sun]
. . . . . And FSU football's offensive coordinator Jeff Bowden bailed out on
his daddy, who wanted Jeff to stay the course, even though critics are
calling for a "change in strategy" (and daddy Bowden might be wishin' right
now that he had a Jim Baker/Iraq-type commission to help bail him
out) . . . . . You'll have to wait until Friday for PlayStation3, but today's
the day you can play Florida's first Vegas-style slot machines, at
Gulfstream Park in Hallandale [Miami Herald].

Your Daily Loser
Boy, what a loser! But, really, he almost doesn't count because he
knows he's a loser, and he's trying to get well. Gerald Fraller of
Tampa admits that he has no friends but a whole sackful of despair, and
since he can't afford Zoloft, he's running a sweepstakes on his website,
where he hopes to improve his affect by offering his soul for $1 a
ticket. The winner will get "20 benefits" that he's still working on, but
will include part of his income for life and naming rights to his children.
[St. Petersburg Times]

More Things To Worry About Today
Hollywood police, standing beside the getaway car (from a burglary) that was
stuck in traffic, pretty much banged it up with crowbars and such, trying to
pry out the perps, but pretty much forgot Rule One, about not letting them
drive away [South Florida Sun-Sentinel] . . . . . Orlando's WKMG-TV reporter
turns way-too-sympathetic to a ghostbusters' mission in a Sanford haunted
house (could it be? could it? the dead woman's voice?) [WKMG-TV (Orlando)] .
. . . . A Broward middle-school teacher who stabbed a kid's desk with an
11-inch knife to get her to stop talking in class was restored to duty after
a year-plus suspension [Miami Herald] . . . . . Orlando judge James Hauser,
who handles parental-rights cases, promised another judge he'd behave
himself from now on, and thus his estranged wife withdrew her restraining
order [Orlando Sentinel via South Florida Sun-Sentinel] . . . . . A Sun City
senior was rescued after being found with a plastic bag tied over her head,
but the husband said, Oh, he often did that, y'know, in case she had to
vomit while he was gone [Tampa Tribune] . . . . . The plot thickens in that
case of the missing tot in Leesburg 10 weeks ago (whose mother, Melinda
Duckett, 21, killed herself two weeks later after a TV grilling by CNN's
Nancy Grace): Turns out Duckett had made some nude videos for sale, one
while flexing on a crib [WKMG-TV (Orlando)].

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