Tips for a successful swingers date

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The first step to having a successful swingers date is to be highly selective when shopping for compatible partners online. A few hours of cyber-stalking while save you the time and anguish of trying to shake a swinger you're not into. When I browse through swingers' sites I begin my search with people who live close.  I don't want to drive to Tallahassee for a date. But, others may prefer to meet couples who live out of town so they never run into each other at PTA meetings.

My next criteria is age.  Decide what age range you're willing to date and stick to it. I have no use for someone old enough to have dated my parents or someone too young to get into a bar.

Next, review the swingers' pictures with a detective's eyes. Do the pictures look new or have you seen them on the website for the past four years?  Are the pictures up close or shot at a distance.  Ideally, you want a variety of the two. Don't trust distance shots, but also be careful about profiles that only contain head shots. Keep in mind that these profile pictures are the most flattering pictures available. If the person looks OK in their pictures, chances are they look like a gargoyle in person, which is fine if you're into having sex with gargoyles.

Also, know what kind of swinger you're looking for: full swap (sex), soft swap (oral sex only), open minded (you might think this means open to anything but it's usually more ambiguous), or voyeur (watcher).  My husband and I look for full swap couples.

In the descriptions section, it's not as important what is said, as how it is said. Pay attention to the language the prospect uses to describe what they're into, as opposed to just their interests. You can't rely on people to tell the truth about themselves, especially online. Here's an excerpt from a basic profile description:  We are not Ken and Barbie and don't expect you to be either.  We are both easy going and have no relationship hangups. We are both college educated and can fit in and enjoy most any environment. This is typical of many profiles and really shouldn't play a large role in the selection process. Basically, use the profile descriptions more to eliminate people than to select them.

Now that you've done a little cyber-stalking, set the groundwork for meeting over email.  When you feel reasnonably sure that the potential partner isn't a complete nut job, unless you're into that sort of thing or just that desperate, arange a date at a neutral setting. Never go to a stranger's house or have them meet you at yours. You could be talking to the Ted Bundy of the swinger world.

My husband and I often make plans to meet in big groups. This type of date is safer, but more importantly fun. It leaves things open for more couples to join in and pair off. The group date also allows you to get to know more than one couple; leaving the potential for more successful future dates. Individual dates are fun as well, but if the couples don't hit it off, the evening tends to be awkward.

On one such date I met a blond who was a couple years younger than me and just plain adorable. His partner was also blond, had big breasts, and was very outgoing.  We met up with the pair and a few other couples at a local bar.  The group dynamic, the alcohol, and the ever present potential for sex, facilitated the conversation. Soon everyone was drinking and laughing while hands started feeling around under the table.

I latched onto Mr. Blondie, leaving little room for any other man to stands a chance.  My husband and I decided to leave the bar with this cute blond couple and head back to our place. Soccer Dad drove Mrs. Blondie while I rode with Mr. Blondie.  The ride back is always a good opportunity to get to know the person you're pairing off with a little more intimately before you fuck like animals--which is the whole reason you're going through this process after all.

Follow Rebecca on twitter for the latest and greatest insight into the swinging lifestyle.

I've been on many swinger dates, good and bad. For me a good date involves drinks, conversation, laughter, and hot sex. But, how do you have a successful swinger's date every time?

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