Summer's here. That means The Warped Tour. And that means the usual hemming and hawing over whether or not you'll attend this year's installment of the traveling festival that proves punk rock has something to do with motorcycles and shoes. So, in the interest of making an informed decision, we've provided you, the discerning pundit, with a list of pros and cons. But you better make up your damn mind — it's this week, you know.
Ten Reasons To Go (In No Particular Order)The Venue
Trees! Shade! Grass, so tender on the tootsies! After years of staging the Warped Tour on the kind of asphalt wasteland that causes tar-caked flip-flops and heatstroke (see also any vast Temple Terrace parking lot), this year's installment at St. Pete's seaside Vinoy Park will seem positively bucolic. You seriously almost won't die of exposure once you run out of bottled-water money (see also $20 bills). It's too bad this kind of thing might only happen once. Kudos to the promoters, but we'll wait and see how St. Pete's powers-that-be respond to the wanton disregard shown Boat Show Central.
The Day of The Week
Actually, this one might be wishful thinking. The concept of a weekday Warped Tour might engender fantasies of wistful musical enjoyment free of age-ism and snarky, idiotic pop-punk fans. But school's out, and, really, how many idiotic pop-punk fans have a) a job, or b) a shitty job they're not willing to lose in the name of seeing Bert McCracken?
Rancid
It's crazy to think that a whole generation of punk fans missed the boat on this NorCal outfit's Clash-esque punk. It's even crazier to accept that you dig a band the new school doesn't know because of an even older band the new school doesn't know. They still deliver an energetic eclectic set, major label or no.
Face to Face
One of the most compelling West Coast punk bands ever. Catchy but gristly, and able to sell out Jannus Landing without any kind of nu-punk cachet. Few bands have done the gnarly 'n' cathartic with as much brains, muscle and hook. Long may they reign.
Less Than Jake
Gainesville's favorite ska-pop sons have been at it forever, so they know how to turn on the party in even the most adversarial of circumstances. They also just released one of the best albums of their career, the brand-new Anthem, thusly disproving the widely held belief that the first record any band makes after their singer gets out of rehab will suck simply by dint of circumstance. That's a Metallica dis, y'know.
The Take Action Tour
This time around, the Warped Tour is providing an arena for up to a dozen local (or locally represented) not-for-profit humanitarian organizations to make their voices heard over the course of the day. We're gonna go out on a limb here and predict that Food Not Bombs will be in the hizzy, along with several other worthy causes of which you, as a human, should be aware. Participants on the tour thus far include anti-suicide hotline The National Hopeline Network, punk-rock anti-war coalition Plea for Peace and alternative journal Mother Jones, among others.
The People Watching
Last year, I watched two girls who couldn't have been older than 16 smoke a joint the size of my middle finger, and then get all drooly over Alkaline Trio singer Matt Skiba. Also, the Warped Tour is an excellent opportunity for you to discover exactly how many people already have that faceted Star tattoo you think so succinctly defines your individuality.
The Side Stages
The whole shindig is positively packed with lower-profile and regional acts, from music-accessory company Ernie Ball's side stage to bands playing inside various merchants' tents. I got turned on to rough-hewn punkers Irish Car Bomb last year, along with a host of other groups whose records I can't find anywhere. Several Bay area acts will be putting in appearances, including the excellent Red Skyline (f.k.a. Speak of the Devil), who'll be rocking the aforementioned Ernie Ball space.
Thrice
This socially conscious California hardcore act has tempered its metallic sound somewhat since signing with Island/Def Jam, but remains sinewy and urgent. Plus, they manage to sound utterly unlike both the metalcore hard-pose mosh pit instigators and the current crop of screamo soundalikes.
Dropkick Murphys
Celt-punk at its finest from a Boston outfit that's been doing it harder and longer than anyone. Their latest Epitaph/Hellcat release, Blackout, is perhaps their most overtly hooky album to date, but retains the band's trademark jagged burn, shout-along choruses and blue-collar anthems. They're always a good show.
Ten Reasons Not to Go (DITTO)The Idea of Committing To a Whole Day in the Sun
No self-respecting music fan could possibly be thrilled by every single band and event on the docket, and it always seems like the stuff you really came for is separated by vast, muggy, will-sucking chunks of time. This year's venue will undoubtedly make the downtime a little more bearable, what with its shade and waterfront breeze and all, but you're still gonna have to dig deep for that second wind around 5 o'clock.
The Relentless Product Placement
Those of us who've been around long enough to remember the skate scene's original antisocial aura can't help but be a little disheartened about the fact that most of Warped's available space is taken up by ads for something. Lots of bands that get offered the tour turn it down because the whole thing reminds them too much of marketing's current extreme-lifestyle trends. Sure, the tour brings a ton of bands around for a reasonable price, but the accompanying vibe of being sold an attitude can be a bitter pill to swallow.
The Used
Some regular readers of the Planet's Music section may have been led to believe that I think The Used are one of the worst things to happen to fringe music in quite some time. Some regular readers of the Planet's Music section are very perceptive. They suck.
The Bands That Ape The Used
It's just sad, really.
Andrew WK
We've all heard the rationalizations for tolerating this Seffner native's lunk-headed frat-rock escapism. Sometimes it's good to be brainless, it doesn't claim to be anything other than what it is, it's just catchy, blah blah. Well, so is N'SYNC. And Andrew WK claims to be listenable — that's a lie. And turning off your brain is known as a coma, which often results in brain damage. Which you might have if you consider Andrew WK's work anything other than pointless.
The Starting Line
Upbeat, New Found Glory-style emo-pop hits a new low. We all know it's fun to make fun of nu-punk outfits that sound like every other nu-punk outfit, but The Starting Line takes all the formulaic, anonymous elements of the style to their logical, unfortunate conclusion. Like Midtown.
When This Whole Thing Is Over, You Can See Your Favorite Band at The State, The Masquerade or Jannus Landing Cheaper
Soon. And then again. And then again.
Yellowcard
Generic pop-punk with a violin is still generic pop-punk. Only with, y'know, a violin.
A.F.I.
Northern California goth-punkers A.F.I. have always been a bit, er, different, but they consistently released compelling, atmospheric rock records up until this year. Their major-label debut, Sing the Sorrow, was one of the biggest disappointments in recent memory — the disc all but gets down on its knees and begs modern rock radio's heavier quarters to accept it. It wasn't the darkness that made us love you, guys, it was the great songwriting.
The Girls That Sell Bottled Water and Always Brusquely Demand a Tip
God, they're rude.
Scott Harrell can be reached at 813-248-8888, ext. 109, or by e-mail at scott.harrell@weeklyplanet.com.
This article appears in Jul 24-30, 2003.
