Tonkin Delight

Name of Position:  Tonkin Delight

Position: The woman lies on her back, with her legs open and her knees bent. The man slides his legs underneath hers, lifting her hips slightly and then penetrates between her legs. The man can easily reach her abdomen to caress and kiss.

On a scale of 1 to 10 how would you rate position (1 as horrible, 10 as sexual nirvana)? 

This position makes a sad 4... and I give it that much only because I popped my back during its execution and that actually felt pretty good.

Did you have difficulty getting into the position?  Yes, this one is a bit more difficult than it sounds in writing.

Did you feel like a pretzel? Were you able to do the motions once in position?  What motions? The man is completely immobile like a stump with two arms. The woman can't do too much either since she is about as mobile as a turtle rolled over on its back.

Any recommendations on getting either in or out of this position:  First off, if you have any amount of a belly, you might as well roll it up and slap it over your partner's goodies, because that is where it is going to need to go. And if this sounds a bit uncomfortable... you would have to try it to realize just how uncomfortable. If you are built like a washboard, you are still going to have to contend with your hamstrings if you haven't given them a good stretch for several years.

How long did you last in the position?  3 minutes

Enjoyment once you were in position (for the woman):  No

Enjoyment once you were in position (for the man):  Hell No

Short Answers:

Was the position comfortable? Were you able to relax?

Man:  No, there is nothing comfortable about it. It is about as comfortable as giving yourself a hummer... and I would almost bet my life that it doesn't even feel as good!

Woman:  Yes, she looked rather relaxed. The only discomfort came when it was time to get “going” and she realized that she was about as paralyzed as I was.

Would you consider this to be an intimate position (Why or why not)?  NO... I can almost find intimacy in almost every position, but this is one that is so damn frustrating that I would say I have had more intimate moments bent over cutting my toenails.

Are you achy or sore after the fact?

Man:  No

Woman:  No

What did the position feel like (both mentally and physically) in 50 words or less?  The position is best described as a slave being propped over a torture device naked, with a beautiful woman laying naked in front—taunting you, but there is nothing that you can do about it.

Did she reach orgasm?  …NO!

Did he reach orgasm?  N-O!

Did it take longer than usual to reach orgasm?  I didn't stick around long enough to find out, but I would make an educated guess and say yes it would...

Would you do this position again (why or why not)?  Never again shall this position cross the confines of our bedposts. This is one of the most frustrating and uneventful positions that has ever been slumped over a log and beaten with a dead sloth!

Any suggestions to make the position more pleasurable: There is absolutely no salvaging anything out of this except for your pride—and the only way to do this, is not to even try it in the first place!

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