things we haven't experienced, which often exclude monogamous vanilla sex with you. If you want to venture into the realm of fantasy, and you also claim that you value honesty, don't be offended when he says he has always wanted to rail an Asian. For the most part, our fantasies are simple. We want to have as much sex with as many different beautiful women as possible; we just say we want to role play or use handcuffs so you'll stop asking what our fantasy is.
2. Make noise just to demonstrate how much you appreciate your man's attempts to please you. Most men could care less if you fake an orgasm. Next time he's taking too long to finish because he's waiting for you to get off, try just telling him to cum on your chest. Groaning and hollering like a b-actress getting murdered will only prolong his ejaculation and feed his fantasy of gagging you.
3. Talk about love during sex: Love has nothing to do with fucking. Unless you're talking about how much you love getting pounded by him, don't use the L word.
4. Freak out about his masturbation habits. Your man masturbates, a lot, and rarely if ever to thoughts of you, especially if you're the type to check his internet history or to tell him how disgusting porn is. Most men actual enjoy when a woman masturbates, especially if it's while she's watching porn. Give him the same courtesy. If you walk in on him wailing away on himself, lend a hand. Then the next time he masturbates he may actually think of you.
5. Believing you don't need to shower or wash your vagina before sex. Yes, men sweat more than women. But we actually take showers after hitting the gym instead of just changing our shirt, spending all day at work, then thinking we're clean enough for sex. We hate the funk of your vagina marinating in its own juices all day as much as you hate the smell of ball sweat.
6. Complain about never getting off, yet refuse to use a vibrator. Men and women shouldn't be afraid of inviting a vibrator into their sex sandwich. Many women need that electric charge. If your man gets angry or intimidated by the toy, make him go down on you for as long as it takes for you to get off or for him to beg you to use the vibrator.
7. Be insecure and insist on having sex in the dark or under the covers. If you think you look fat, you probably do. But guess what, he's still having sex with you so he obviously doesn't mind too much. You may not be able to do anything to reduce your waist size that night, but you can increase your sex appeal with confidence. If you keep worrying about how fat you look, then he's going to start noticing how fat you look. Take responsibility for your appearance. Work to change what you can and accept what you can't.
8. Never get on top. Keeping ourselves upright with one hand while thrusting and stimulating your clit with the other is exhausting. Get on top every once in a while, especially if you like to complain that he isn't fucking you right. Take control of his dick and work your clit against his pelvic bone.
9. Be close-minded about sex. I'm not saying you should let him try suffocating you with a grocery bag or peeing on your shoes, but automatically refusing something because it's different is a huge turn-off. If he wants to have sex while watching porn, try it a few times. Compromise; agree so long as you get to choose the porn. If he wants to lick your toes or for you to pinch his nipples, what's the harm? You're not the one sucking the toe-jam Popsicle.
10. Mistake tickling for pleasure. Just because he's gripping the sheets and straining his legs doesn't mean he enjoys you mapping his thighs or stomach with your tongue. He could just be fighting the urge to kick you in the face.
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