Considering that south and downtown Tampa will be transformed into a sprawling, outdoor saloon on Saturday in honor of that ol' swashbuckler Jose Gasparilla, I'll be there doing some intensive reporting for my upcoming Bar Tab column.
I live in South Tampa so the revelry will be taking place all around me, with the festivities starting at my apartment around 10 a.m. It's going to be a long day of laughing at intoxicated idiots, scanning the crowd for topless UT hotties, maintaining a steady intake of alcohol (in order to stay sane), and finding places to piss that don't lead to: arrest, gunshots from a grumpy homeowner, or a poison oak rash in the worst possible of places.
Last year at Gasparilla, I wandered into a party around nightfall held in one of the condos that overlook Bayshore. The dudes hosting the bash were friends with a couple of the girls we knew. We arrive at their penthouse and the place is packed. All kinds of party favors are being consumed. Standing behind the bar is a well-endowed blond in nothing but a red thong and black, stiletto heels serving free cocktails.
The details of that night are rather foggy and probably not fit for sharing online ... But let's just say I had a good time.
Top 10: Songs for Gasparilla
1. "Fight For Your Right (To Party)," Beastie Boys
2. "Wild Wild Life," Talking Heads
3. "Killer Parties," The Hold Steady
4. "Party People," Parliament
5. "You Can Leave Your Hat On," Randy Newman
6. "Here For the Party," Gretchen Wilson
7. "Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting," Elton John
8. "Party Like a Rockstar," Shop Boyz
9. "I Like Beer," Tom T. Hall
10. "A Pirate Looks at Forty," Jimmy Buffett
WHAT DID I MISS?