P. J. O'Rourke: The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to.
Jay Leno: New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive.
W.H. Auden: The only way to spend New Year’s Eve is either quietly with friends or in a brothel. Otherwise when the evening ends and people pair off, someone is bound to be left in tears.
Mark Twain: New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.
Bill Vaughan: Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.
James Agate: New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.
Bill Vaughan: An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.
F.M. Knowles: He who breaks a resolution is a weakling; He who makes one is a fool.
William Thomas: It wouldn't be New Year's if I didn't have regrets.
Judith Crist: Happiness is too many things these days for anyone to wish it on anyone lightly. So let's just wish each other a bile-less New Year and leave it at that.
Eric Zorn: Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle.
Robert Paul: I'm a little bit older, a little bit wiser, a little bit rounder, but still none the wiser.
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