"That's non-sense," pronounced the little girl. She'd come to the Florida Aquarium to watch the fishes, but instead discovered a dive team in the act of submerging a filing cabinet, a telephone and a man in a suit and tie.
She was right, of course. Even at the Aquarium, where the staff spends most of its time in and around water, no one has yet opted for a coral-reef cubicle. But for this edition of Creative Loafing's Summer Guide, we thought the image of a businessman literally surrounded by water would be just the thing for our theme: Water, Water Everywhere.
That's the Floridian condition: In a state that's almost 18 percent water, we're never more than a few minutes or a few hours away from gulf, river, bay or bayou. And in the dense, heavy heat of summer, the prospect of a cooling dip or even just a cooler breeze is especially attractive.
To help you navigate the waterways, Eric Snider tours the wilder side of the Hillsborough, while Wayne Garcia sees improvements downriver. Leilani Polk goes deep into freshwater springs (and her memories thereof). Fisherpeople Patricia and Joe Pochurek explain why the Sunshine Skyway Pier is an angler's paradise, and Joe Bardi cruises through a survey of ocean liners that call Tampa their home port. Alex Pickett does a sail-along with Pinellas' boat cops, and Jamie Forsyth suggests that if you get into trouble in the Gulf, you could do worse than have some Eckerd College students come to the rescue. If you're so into water you might as well be married to it, Leilani's got just the wedding chapel for you. If you love the beach so much you think of it as your living room, you'll meet kindred souls in Franki Weddington's look at Dunedin's beach-cleaning volunteers. If you prefer man-made bodies of water, Jason Kushner offers a quick guide to public pools. And for everything you need to know about water parks and other liquid refreshments — plus our usual rundown of parks, museums and other summer escapes — turn to the summer recreation list.
This is not everybody's cup of H20; one of the prevailing ironies of Florida life is that there are more than a few people who like the idea of water, but would never actually go in. If you're in that camp — that is, if the only thing you're diving into is a dirty martini — we give you a rundown of 50 top waterfront bars and restaurants, and invite you to vote for, or add, your favorites. Look, too, for the ultimate landlubber's guide: Lance Goldenberg's Summer '08 movie preview and our list of water-logged media.
If you're still looking for excuses to remain high and dry, Wayne explains why you should be afraid, very afraid to wade in. And designated ranter Wade Tatangelo disses the very idea of hitting the beach unless you're also hitting on something, or someone, else.
But finally, this issue was inspired by a word I'd never encountered before until seeing it scrawled on the back window of a van, atop which were perched two well-used kayaks. The word was "aquaholic," and it seemed to sum up the lives of a number of locals who just can't get enough of that watery stuff. Their profiles round out our Summer Guide roster.
Special thanks to two of those aquaholics, Weeki Wachee mermaid Stayce McConnell (this week's cover girl) and Florida Aquarium Dive Training Coordinator Mike Terrell (the Underwater Businessman at left). We appreciate the time they took — and the cooperativeness of their facilities' staffs — in enduring our "nonsense." And a tip of the captain's hat, too, to photographer Marina Williams; maybe it has something to do with her nautical first name, but she dove right into the assignment, SCUBA equipment, waterproofed camera and all (see her in action here). For her, as for so many residents of Tampa Bay, the water is clearly a happy medium.
This article appears in May 7-13, 2008.