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Hungover.net
http://www.hungover.net

Do you know the feeling of waking up to the world, blurry and tongue fuzzy? Does realization that the stench of alcohol and stale cigarettes is emanating from your pores make one of the epileptic elephants dancing inside your skull decide to stop squishing the final vestiges of usable brain cells and dive straight to the stomach, creating a tsunami of nausea? And in order for it to end the only option is to reverse peristalsis, which makes the elephants break into a spirited Sumo wrestling match? No? If you've never felt like this, then congratulations and fuck you. Hungover.net is for the rest of us. Dedicated to easing the misery of the previous night's stupidity, each page is equipped with a brightness button that adjusts the background color so your brain won't attempt to crawl out your ears and bludgeon you to a merciful death. Consult the Pain-o-meter and find out which types of alcohol cause the worst hangovers, and heed the words of Vitaman for which nutrients ease the effects (while not a vitamin, Vitaman does recommend the orgasm as a helpful hangover cure. Who cares if it's true or not; I like how this guy thinks). For the truly desperate, Hungover.net provides three Top Ten Lists of Hangover Cures (that's 30 suggestions for those of you currently harboring a heavy head). I'd stick to Classics, but Healthy isn't bad. Stay the hell away from Freaky — methinks the cure is worse than the disease. Finally, go ahead and discover how many brain cells you really did murder last night by playing Memory. Do well enough and you could win a T-shirt. Peter Benchley once said, "The only cure for a real hangover is death." Maybe, but Hungover.net at least makes waiting for the Reaper bearable.

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