Along with its mirror site www.propertyroom.com, Steal It Back is an online auction where various law enforcement agencies across the country empty out their stolen property rooms. So it's basically like an online pawnshop just without the creepy steel cage. This, of course, equals nifty bargains while letting you feel like you're part of a crime cartel hiding their illicit booty (not that kind of booty). On the day I wandered through, you could get a decent laptop for $300 or a really good mountain bike for under $80. Hell, for five bucks more you could even get a helmet. While you're at it, scoop up a large conch shell for $10 (hey, if somebody went through the trouble to steal it, it must be worth something). In all 15 categories, the only thing I didn't see were guns. You'd think they'd have lots of those. A portion of the proceeds go toward a scholarship fund for children of officers killed in the line of duty. There's also section where your stolen items can be registered; all serial numbers are cross-checked to ensure return to the rightful owner, so scribble down the digits of your DVD player, eh? Perhaps most useful is the Crime Prevention Tips area, containing great advice on home security and identity protection (getting your identity stolen would suck hairy moose antler). How cool is it that Steal It Back not only gives great bargains but it also provides spiffy safety tips? Unless, of course, this whole thing is a scam and just a way for the Man (or a really smart crook) to keep tabs on you.
This article appears in Mar 22-28, 2001.