What's between your legs: kryptonite or crack

Crack is bad, making people do things they wouldn't normally do, like carjacking a Kia. A crack addict's mind becomes so fixated on the drug it creates an alternate reality where irrational behaviors become rational. I say this because my ex boyfriend broke into the apartment we used to share one night. He thought I was with someone new.


"That's my pussy!" He yelled (and yes that is a direct quote).


No, sorry, it's mine and you don't live here anymore. That's how the relationship ended. That and with a [image-1]house full of cops who where more interested in how nicely decorated my bedroom was rather than the man who just forced his way in. My bedroom IS set up for sex. The cops were probably wondering if they should cuff me and spank me for being such a bad girl?


The Ex breaking in made me consider what type of person would behave this way over pussy. Then it hit me. My pussy is crack!! Seriously. Crack addicts break into homes when they need a fix. He needed his fix; it just so happened that his fix was my Pussy. He could have used a prostitute if he wanted pussy that badly. There are enough of them up and down 4th Street in St. Pete. Being arrested for picking up a cheap hooker should be cheaper than the bail for breaking and entering. But it would have been really cheap crack. The kind that would make you slap your own head for being so strung out you bought bad shit.


Crack Addicts have a tendency to lose their damn minds and become focused on one thing: crack. They start getting crazy and paranoid and develop an extraordinary ability to track down crack in the most desolate of dumpster alleys. Doesn't matter if he's gotta stay up all night and drive all over the city just to find it. This addiction fuels his desires and clouds his brain like crack smoke clouding a pipe. And just when you think you've given him the slip, he pops up like a dick on Viagra.


I don't recommend having a Crack Pussy. If you think your man is starting to treat your pussy like crack, like he can't be without it, get help. Whether it's a 1 step, 4 steps, or 12 steps program, it doesn't matter, just so long as they all lead him out your door.


The Kryptonite Pussy, on the other hand, would be a better option. Since I have the Crack Pussy, I can only imagine what a Kryptonite Pussy would do to a man. So I did. Kryptonite brings a superman to his knees. Not in a debilitating way; more in the way of putting his pussy on a pedestal.[image-2]


A superman cherishes and appreciates the kryptonite. He can respect it's power over him so he's not inclined to abuse it. The superman is strong, capable and dependable. He's not so lost without it that he's breaking into homes and going fucking crazy. The superman doesn't have to go on a personal scavenger hunt all over the city to track down the Kryptonite. He doesn't hate you for being the source of his addition. But wasn't superman always so busy saving people and the world that he neglected Lois Lane? Didn't she even die once?


Kryptonite Pussy doesn't sound so good either. I think I'll stick with plain shaved pussy.[image-3]

After years of dating and love affairs, I've realized that men fall into 2 categories. The kind that treat a woman like she has a "Kryptonite Pussy" and the kind that treat a woman like she has a "Crack Pussy." I came to this understanding one morning when I walked into the office and proudly announced that my Pussy is Crack!! My boss choked on air. My female coworkers seemed less surprised by my declaration.

(Example photo's below NSFW)

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