While Some Floridians Slog Through Hell (Iraq) . . .

. . . others are buying up-to-$100k doghouses for their pooches (built by
Doggie Mansions of West Palm Beach), in styles such as Key West cottage and
New England colonial, with Spanish-tile roofs, flat-screen TV's, and of
course a/c [South Florida Sun-Sentinel]

"This Is Just Something We Do"
Well, the something Nikki does is run an "adult-lifestyle" club, aka
swingers' club, in a sprawling old house on a quiet street in Holly Hill, to
the consternation of neighbors and the bemusement of police, who say they
can't really devote much manpower to stopping the bopping between consenting
adults. There was a code problem with the club's required "donation" for
each of the 20-or-so couples to attend, so the organizers, Matthew Early, 42,
and Nikki something, 34, killed that, and they're back in business. But,
jeez, according to the story, there are three other swingers' clubs in
Volusia County alone. [Daytona Beach News-Journal]

Catch-22 on 911
Evidently, two women are responsible for the lion's share of 911 calls in
Pinellas County, in that their status of being at least somewhat loony
provokes them to call, yet when referred for evaluation, they are found
competent by shrinks and released (to resume their pastime). One of them has
supposedly been raped at least 149 times since May 2003, including by Bush,
Cheney and Rumsfeld. She's competent and back at it. The other has been
transported by ambulance 343 times with "seizures" that never panned out.
Competent and back at it. Two Clearwater paramedics called attention to the
problem last yr by refusing to respond to the "rape victim." They were
fired. An arbitrator overruled. Clearwater said this month it would fight to
keep them fired. [Tampa Tribune]

Floridians With Worse Sex Lives Than You
George Goolde, 61, president of the main foster parent association in the
Daytona Beach area, was arrested Saturday for putting his hands down the
pants of his own two foster boys (they say numerous times; he told police
not that many). He acknowledged the kids never gave him permission but said
he felt like they wanted him to. [Daytona Beach News-Journal]

Your Daily Loser
Timothy Addison of Tampa says he forgot that he had left a loaded handgun
between the cushions of his sofa, where his 2-yr-old boy got hold of it and
fatally shot himself. Also, he is a long-rap-sheeted felon in illegal
possession of that gun (and probably of the safe full of them also at his
house). Also, when police were called, they happened to see, in plain sight,
a big stash of marijuana. [St. Petersburg Times]

More Things To Worry About Today
A pretty-well-adjusted, two-time junior horseshoe-pitching champion is dead
at age 17 from huffing a can of computer Dust-Off [Gainesville Sun] . . . .
. The primo anti-immigration U.S. Congressman, Tom Tancredo of Colorado,
called Miami a "third-world country," and Miami's U.S. Rep. Ileana
Ros-Lehtinen immediately rebuked "my friend, Tom." [Miami Herald] . . . . .
Vice President Cheney touched down in Tallahassee yesterday on a completely
unofficial visit, to go hunting in the panhandle, so y'all watch out up
there [Associated Press via Fort Myers News-Press] . . . . . The New Life
Lutheran Church in Miramar now wants to hold services in an inflatable
thingee for 18 months, since Broward is charging it property taxes until it
finishes building an actual church [Miami Herald] . . . . . A
Haitian-immigrant nursing student sued the Catholic Archdiocese of Miami,
alleging that Fr. Marc Presume knocked her up and pressured her into an
abortion [Associated Press via Florida Times-Union].

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