Why are you looking at my breasts? (semi-NSFW)

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have  stumbled upon their first porn magazine.


Everyday I have to cater my wardrobe to fit my breasts. Most days, I have to conceal them.  Sometimes this requires safety pins. Other times I have to add a second or even third camisole.  At work I make every attempt to maintain a semi-professional look, which is hard with huge knockers.  It's not that big breasts aren't professional; it's just hard to be professional when your male coworkers have conversations with your breasts. But, if I spend the extra time to conceal these ADD machines, if I go above and beyond to get your attention with what I'm saying, why do men still stare at my chest?


[image-1]This morning I heard the typical rational behind men's awkward stares from Fisher on 97X.  After being caught ogling another woman (by his girlfriend), Fisher defended his man status with "scientific research."  Human nature, the need to protect, and longevity are popular excuses for boob watching.  I searched the internet for the pseudoscience that backed up his logic but could only find a bunch of mumbo jumbo! Some theorize that when apes began walking erect, humans developed breasts to fill the role that large birthing hips played for our four-legged forefathers. Others say that breast provide evolutionary clues to how much milk a woman can produce, and thus how well she will be able to feed a child. Still, none of this explains why men must stare ate breasts as if trying to make them spring out of their casing with telepathy.


Dr. Karen Weatherby of Frankfurt, Germany carried out a study that suggests that staring at a woman's breasts for 10 minutes equals 30 minutes of aerobic exercise.  If this is true, why the hell aren't all guys in better shape? Just the other day I was at a party and actually caught a man staring directly at my breasts while speaking to me.  This fella didn't look anywhere close to being physically fit despite his particularly pronounced boob-staring practices. Maybe this guy's habit will help him live an extra 5 years while big breasted me gets to live with back problems and an inability to jog without getting knocked out by my bouncers.


I chose these breasts and I bought and paid for them with my own money; they are as much mine as if I was born with them.  And sure I wanted the attention, but I didn't bargain on the obsession and creepy fascination many men would have for them. Oh well, perhaps I should just be happy that I'm helping extend so many men's lives.


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While many women want the attention guaranteed by big breasts, most don't realize that a big chest has the power to turn the most proper gentleman into a dog in heat.

I wasn't always a 34DD.  Men actually used to look at my face first when talking to me. I guess an average 34B isn't all that distracting, which could be part of the reason I decided to upgrade my chest size four years ago. After being artificially enhanced by implants, my breasts have taken on a life of their own—-like when Frankenstein's monster received a new brain. The mere site of these beasts make men loony.

A fan once told me that a good pair of breasts will break a weak man.  Large breasts tend to draw men in, overpower their logic with desire, and compel them to act like horny teenagers who

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