Given how bizarre national politics have been over the past six months or so, odds are the run-up to November 8, 2016, will be a hell of a romp.

In December, as part of our Year in Lists, we set out a (very satirical) timeline predicting which presidential candidates would drop out, and when. Now we’d like to share with you some for-real dates — ones you’ll want to remember throughout the year.

Here goes.

Feb. 1: The Iowa Caucus. Who cares? Well, it’s a good gauge as to which candidate appeals to nice white evangelical exurbanites.

Feb. 9: New Hampshire Primary. Who cares? Another early indicator of who will likely get the nomination, as well as who will finally drop out and go home already. Unlike Iowa, this race will probably favor moderates. It’s also when we’ll stop seeing so many photos of Donald Trump eating corn dogs, so there’s that.

Feb. 16: Voter registration deadline for the Florida presidential preference primary; deadline for domestic mail ballots to go out. Who cares? Anyone who feels the Bern (or wants to sabotage Republicans by helping Trump get nominated).

Feb. 20: Nevada Democratic Caucus, South Carolina GOP Caucus. Who cares? These are swing states that’ll be something of a thermometer ahead of Super Tuesday. Plus, this may be the only time we ever see Hillary Clinton in cowboy boots.

Feb. 23: Nevada Republican Caucus. Who cares? This is when the GOP clownmobile starts to get a little less crowded.

Feb. 27: South Carolina Democratic Caucus. Who cares? Maybe about four people.

Feb. 29-Mar. 13: Early voting in Florida presidential primary. Who cares? People who don’t want to wait in line at the polls the day of the primary, as if there’d be lines.

Mar. 1: Super Tuesday. Who cares? A shit ton of states will weigh in; after that we should have a good idea of who the nominees will be.

Mar. 15: Florida presidential preference primary. Who cares? It’ll be fun to see which aspect of our collective consciousness wins out: our inner nutter or our rational sensibilities.

Aug. 1: Registration deadline ahead of Florida’s state primary (mail ballots go out the following day). Who cares? Florida’s lively 65+ population.

Aug 15-28: Early voting for Florida’s state primary. Who cares? People who can spell “gerrymandering.”

Aug. 30: Florida’s state primary. Who cares? No one. But everyone should; the people we elect to County Commission and the State Legislature have a helluva lot more direct impact on us than the winner of the Presidency.

Oct. 11: Registration deadline for the general election. Who cares? People who haven’t been paying attention the whole time.

Oct. 24-Nov. 6: Early voting for the general election. Who cares? Anyone who wants to avoid getting into an Election Day political argument with the guy in line behind you at the polling place.

Nov. 2: Deadline to request a mail ballot. Who cares? Anyone who wants to fill out a ballot without being inconvenienced by pants.

Nov. 8: General election. Who cares? Anyone who has yet to Google the 2016 presidential candidates.

This article appears in Jan 7-13, 2016.