Father’s Day is just two weeks away, and Tampa songwriter Shevonne Philidor just addressed the thoughts swirling around in her head in a new song called “Someday.”
Philidor told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay that her mom left her father when she was just 10 days old; from that day forward, he wasn’t in her life, though they have recently cultivated a long distance, online relationship, since he lives in Haiti.
“Although I had a great life and have a great mom, I’ve always felt like something was missing,” Philidor said, describing her youth when she didn’t see a lot of interracial kids.
“I was bullied and told by other kids that my mom wasn't my mom ‘cause she was ‘white.’ When I would overhear other families and someone saying, “You look just like your dad.’ I would wonder what my dad looked like,” Philidor added.
Mom only had two pictures of dad, so Philidor wondered if she looked like him, what his talents were, about his interests and what kind of person he was. Mom said he was a good dancer, and a goofy guy, but that she left because he was a dishonest womanizer.
“Maybe she shouldn’t have been so honest about the second part, but that’s our family dynamic, we’re all super honest about everything,” Philidor explained. “My mom raised me and my sister to be tough, independent and to deal with shit head on—I understand that marriages don't always work out but as a kid, you don't know that, you just feel abandoned.”
Sometimes, his absence made Philidor feel like she wasn’t living her true identity.
“I’ll never see him again unless I travel to Haiti as he’s been deported,” Philidor said. Instead, her mom, aunt and uncle opened her eyes to the country’s food, culture and music. She also takes trips to Miami to see her grandfather and get immersed in Haitian culture.
“I still wonder what life would have been like if I grew up with my dad and if I would be the same person,” Philidor admitted, “But the good part is, I’ve had an amazing life so far, I’m happy with who I am and I love myself—and that’s all I can ask for.”
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