COWBOY DIPLOMACY OVER
Bush to launch new "Lame Duck Diplomacy" effort.
FRANCE VS. ITALY
World Cup final presages much-anticipated World War III rematch.
SADDAM CASE CLOSING ARGUMENTS
"You want the truth? You can't handle the truth."
DEVIL RAYS OF SUNSHINE
The Underfunded Boys of Summer take four out of seven games from Yankees, Red Sox.
NATIONAL NUDE RECREATION WEEK
Take it from experience — cast-netting is not a good activity option.
LOST CHAPPELLE
A poor substitute for the glory days of "Black Bush." Red rock, yay-ee yay-ee.
PARIS HILTON: 'I FAKED IT'
The Simple Life, that is.
PIRATES DOES RECORD BUSINESS
Nothing opens a movie like a bunch of computer-enhanced degenerates who say, "Arrrrrrrrr."
KEN LAY'S FUNERAL
He watched it via closed-circuit TV from his getaway home in Guam.
ALL-STAR BREAK
The largest assemblage of dopers since the last Rock 'n' Roll Hall Of Fame induction ceremony.
'SHE TURNED ME INTO A NEWT'
Virginia woman cleared of 1706 witchcraft conviction.
—Compiled by Weekly Planet staff
