Jokes were made; ire was raised; tears were shed over some kind of tropical walrus. That's just the kind of weekend it was.
FRIDAY, JULY 21:
Sean Spicer, an amoral stooge who deserves none of your sympathy, resigned his post as the White House Press Secretary. If you're tempted to feel the least bit sorry for a grown man who not only knew what he was getting into but also managed to handle himself with all the graceless lashing out and sullen petulance of a playground bully's terrified inner coward, just remember that they're saying he stole a mini-fridge from his underpaid junior staffers on his way out the door.
A state report blames St. Pete's sewage spills not only on longtime indifference to the system in general but also on the Kriseman administration's shutting down of the Albert Whitted facility specifically — though the Tampa Bay Times's headline seems a little, erm, openly-in-the-tank-for-Baker for a story about a report that takes that former mayor's administration to task, as well. Partisan politics: trickling down to ugly up the 'Burg.
Protesters stood roadside in Tampa to demand that the city do more to clean up alleged jack-shack massage parlors on Kennedy Boulevard. I'm glad someone's finally gonna get rid of this practice of bartering sexual favors that's been with us since people started needing stuff to live.
SATURDAY, JULY 22:
A 37-year-old transient was arrested after cops had to shut down St. Pete's always-busy Tyrone Blvd./66th St. N./22nd Ave. N. nexus for three-and-a-half hours due to a suspicious device that turned out to be a portable meth lab rather than a bomb. You know the difference between carrying around a bomb and carrying around a portable meth lab is, don't you? The difference is ENTREPRENEURIAL VISION. You're definitely gonna kill some folks and probably yourself, but you're gonna make some money along the way.
SUNDAY, JULY 23:
And finally, Snooty, the world's oldest manatee in captivity and an enduring symbol of how emotionally compelling so-ugly-they're-cute animals can be, died two days after his 69th birthday (and just one day after its annually ballyhooed hoopla) when he became trapped in an area of his habitat he normally shouldn't have been able to access. He will be missed by the thousands whose hearts were touched by Snooty as children, back when it was OK not to be outraged by animals in captivity, as well as by those who just heard of him and are outraged by animals in captivity. To wrap the whole sad tale up in classic Florida style, somebody started an online petition to replace a Confederate monument in Bradenton with a statue of Snooty. So there's that.