"My hand to God, I don't deserve to be here. That's my word to God. This is an abomination, a sin to God."
"Why am I here? I don't know. I'm the headliner for them. I'm the newspaper maker. I'm gonna be their promotion on the way up. I've been followed almost every day of my life by the FBI. I know them by first-name basis almost."
"Don't let them lead you to believe that I'm that smart. Trust me, I'm not. I got locked up plenty of times."
— From the opening statement, as reported Oct. 19 in the Tampa Tribune and St. Petersburg Times, of Ronald "Ronnie One Arm" Trucchio, who prosecutors accuse of leading a Gambino Family mob crew in Tampa. Prosecutors say Trucchio's valet parking business kept competitors at bay with threats and extortion.
"I swear to God, it wasn't me!"
–— Mikey Palmice
–"Federal marshals are so far up my ass I can taste Brylcreem."
–— Uncle Junior Soprano
"Just for the record, my incarceration was very short term. So I never had any need for any anal-you-know."
–— Tony Soprano
–— From the HBO Original Series, The Sopranos.