My hand to God

From the trial of 'Ronnie One Arm'

"My hand to God, I don't deserve to be here. That's my word to God. This is an abomination, a sin to God."

"Why am I here? I don't know. I'm the headliner for them. I'm the newspaper maker. I'm gonna be their promotion on the way up. I've been followed almost every day of my life by the FBI. I know them by first-name basis almost."

"Don't let them lead you to believe that I'm that smart. Trust me, I'm not. I got locked up plenty of times."

— From the opening statement, as reported Oct. 19 in the Tampa Tribune and St. Petersburg Times, of Ronald "Ronnie One Arm" Trucchio, who prosecutors accuse of leading a Gambino Family mob crew in Tampa. Prosecutors say Trucchio's valet parking business kept competitors at bay with threats and extortion.

"I swear to God, it wasn't me!"

— Mikey Palmice

"Federal marshals are so far up my ass I can taste Brylcreem."

— Uncle Junior Soprano

"Just for the record, my incarceration was very short term. So I never had any need for any anal-you-know."

— Tony Soprano

— From the HBO Original Series, The Sopranos.