Welcome to another week of, well, you know.
FRIDAY, AUG. 17:
America's hippest grandpa Bernie Sanders rolled through Tampa on Friday, stumping for Democratic gubernatorial candidate Andrew Gillum at also-hip food temple Armitage Works. We gotta get these two to take The Hot Ones Challenge.
News broke Friday about a 59-year-old man who was arrested at Orlando International Airport on Thursday for making a scene and resisting arrest after railing against an American Airlines employee. He was apparently "frothing at the mouth" and had to be tased. Look, we all hate the airlines, but man, don't let it make you rabid. Irony: He also had a bag of weed on him.
Pinellas County authorities opted to increase red tide sampling after low levels of the algae showed up in samples off Fort De Soto, John's Pass and Gulfport. They had to make a choice, and decided to assume that everybody holding hands on the beach last Sunday didn't, uh, turn back the tide.
SATURDAY, AUG. 18:
Up near Jacksonville, an animal hospital announced that a young alpaca born and raised at the facility died because some cretin dumped Doritos, Cheese Nips and peanuts in the field and the animal ate them. So basically, he took all the food that shows up in your office that you look at and go, "I probably shouldn't, that's really not good for me," and left it for unsupervised critters. Moron or malevolent?
SUNDAY, AUG. 19:
And finally, the second of two heavily armed fugitives from North Carolina was arrested on Treasure Island after a stand-off with the Pinellas SWAT team. A convicted felon wanted for shooting at NC cops, he was reportedly in possession of an AR-15, a machete and, oh yeah, a pipe bomb. Was he white and taken into custody without getting shot? Oh, indeed.