Sh*t Happened 8/28/17: The Obama bump, Hurricane Harvey devastates

Also, "Gorka" goes back to only being a gross sound.

click to enlarge Sh*t Happened 8/28/17: The Obama bump, Hurricane Harvey devastates
Creative Commons/OverloardQ

It's Monday, my dudes. Hug your dogs; it's going to be a looong, rainy week...but the coming weekend will also be long (though not long enough and probably too rainy).

This past one, though, seemed a little too long.

FRIDAY, AUG. 25

Area Democrats finally woke up to good news: former President Barack Obama made an extremely rare formal endorsement in the St. Pete mayor's race in a Friday morning statement expressing his enthusiastic support of incumbent Mayor Rick Kriseman. Another election, another 11th-hour development that makes us question the wisdom of early/mail voting and whether primary and general election days should just be, like, paid holidays for all. Why are you laughing?!

As Hurricane Harvey barreled toward the Texas coast, President Donald J. Trump — in the interest of transparency and open discourse, obviously — signed a directive banning transgender individuals from serving in the military. Oh, and then he pardoned former Maricopa County Sheriff and well-known racist Joe Arpaio. Asked about the pending doom in the Lone Star State, he simply said "good luck" as he walked away. And with that, the State of Texas officially became tired of winning.

Oh, and shadowy Trump advisor Sebastian Gorka (pronunciation: an unexpected sound made by your upper gastrointestinal tract) left the White House under mysterious circumstances, as they all do, and like Steve Bannon before him, will return to Breitbart to have more direct influence on the president. [Note to singer/songwriter John Gorka — no offense, you don't sound like stomach rumblings.]

SATURDAY, AUG. 26

Though the storm is expected to batter Texas for days, the extent of Hurricane Harvey's dramatic damage becomes apparent, as do the perils of mixed messages from authorities on whether or not to evacuate when a Category fucking 4 hurricane is aimed at you. Let's hope authorities in Florida and Tampa Bay do things a little differently when the big one comes. This isn't Ready Player One, guys; there are no power-ups when it's flooding up to your chin and all your possessions have washed away.

SUNDAY, AUG 27

Closer to home, a storm system that threatened to become a tropical depression caused dramatic flooding in Manatee County. We've got at least another month of this crap. Stay safe, everyone.