The Blotter

THREE'S COMPANY: I've been compiling these blotter entries for almost a year now, and this one has to be the best of the lot. On Feb. 18, 2006, at 10:23 a.m., police responded to a report of a disturbance at a private residence in Tampa. There they met Jack, his next-door neighbor Mr. Furley, and another area resident, Ms. Snow. Names have been changed to protect the privacy of all involved, since none of the parties was arrested.

MS. SNOW: From the police report: "Ms. Snow stated that she and Jack were in the bedroom having sex when Jack's next-door neighbor walked over to the open window. The neighbor was talking to Jack through the screen in the window asking him where his nail gun was. Ms. Snow said that Jack told him to leave several times, but the neighbor continued to stay at the window. Jack then became angry and jumped out the window knocking the screen away from the window frame. Ms. Snow was not sure who struck who first, but was sure that the screen was intact and in place prior to Jack jumping out the window naked."

JACK: Jack made quite a first impression with police. The cops don't say if he was still naked when they arrived, but they did report, "[Jack's] nose was bleeding and he had small scratches on his right hand. He appeared to be very angry and advised that if Furley returned to his yard, he had a shotgun and a glock." Oh, if you hadn't guessed, he "appeared to be intoxicated." Jack related largely the same story as Ms. Snow, saying he just wanted Mr. Furley to stay out of his yard.

MR. FURLEY: After police interviewed Jack, they attempted to contact Mr. Furley, "with negative results." The cops then left the scene ... only to be called back minutes later on a report of "loud music." When they arrived, police observed Furley in his front yard. "He had parked his vehicle in his yard, ... 10 feet from the complainant's home and had the stereo very loud. ... He appeared to be very intoxicated." At first, Mr. Furley denied anything had happened between him and Jack. Then he admitted that he had looked in Jack's window. "He saw the complainant having sex with another neighbor and said, 'Get your fucking ass off her, her father stole my watch a long time ago.'" Mr. Furley went on to say that he likes [Jack] and he didn't want to do anything about the incident because 'he beat [Jack's] ass.'"

EPILOGUE: Police made a third trip out to the neighborhood that day, "in reference to a fight involving firearms from a neighbor." No, it wasn't the glock. This time, police found Jack sleeping, Furley occupied and nothing much going on.

From the files of the T.P.D.