Sh*t Happened 5/2/17: Tampa Bay among top mosquito regions, Pasco residents cannot stop setting fires, prostitute hungry

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A new report by Orkin puts the Tampa Bay area at No. 11 on the list of the nation's top 50 cities for mosquitoes. This should surprise, well, no one who's been outside for longer than 37 seconds at any point since mid-March, really. But is it time to panic? Of course. Of course it is.

According to Pasco County officials, there have been, seriously, more than 400 illegal burns in the area since an anti-wildfire burn ban was instituted LESS THAN A MONTH AGO, on April 12. That's more than 20 a day. Every day since Pasco County said "hey, we'd rather not be consumed by fire, so help us out and don't start any," people have started more than 20 fires. Which begs the question, what the hell is going on in Pasco when there isn't a burn ban in effect? Napalm parties? Tire smokers? The Nightly Matches, Gasoline and Old Washer & Dryer Get-Together and Conflagration?

And finally, from the weekend police blotter, a 22-year-old Bradenton woman allegedly agreed to blow an undercover cop for $25, then got him to up the payment to $25 and an order of Chicken McNuggets. Shrewd bargaining! Number and type of sauce boxes (heh) not among the information released.