To those of you headin' back to college, a word of advice: Enjoy it while you can. Soon enough you will be part of the real world (not to be confused with the MTV show) which will most likely include joining the workforce. We hate to break it to you, but you and your coworkers will rarely find yourself all giddy at lunch because the Tuesday night kegger starts at 9. The worst couple years of your life will probably be the ones directly after college. Your close-knit clan of friends will have dispersed. Your campus cachet will have given way to anonymity. You will be lonely and socially unfulfilled. You may live with your parents. Your boss will probably be an asshole. But, hey, don't let it get ya down. Not yet, at least. All the more reason to enjoy college while you can. Sure, finals week and all-nighter study sessions and cramped apartments with slovenly roommates are a drag, but trust us, they beat the hell out of the soul-deadening drudgery of real life.
The Weekly Planet College Survival Guide includes features that balance information and irreverence.
To those readers who've put college in the rearview, or for those who never went, this stuff's for you, too. Some of our survival tips and tactics clearly transcend the university experience.