YOUR SEVEN-DAY FORECAST
Temperatures will range from "Chernobyl" to "surface of the sun." Good thing we bought parkas for last week's cold front.
LOWRY PARK ZOO-BOO
Word is they'll cut the animals loose to run wild in the park. Wait, didn't they try that already?
SIMMS' SPLEEN
If we rupture the spleens of the D-line, will that make them play better too?
PETA PROTESTS COCKROACH-EATING CONTEST
That's nothing; we've recommended saving your roaches for years.
334-756-3336
Just call it.
GAS PRICES CONTINUE TO FALL
They should bottom out around Nov. 7.
SLICK WILLY ERUPTS
Blames Fox News for "conservative hit job;" coincidentally, that's Fox News' mission statement.
CHAVEZ: "BUSH ES EL DIABLO"
White House denies Lucifer ID, but cops to Bush being a "lower demon."
FALWELL: HILLARY IS WORSE THAN THE DEVIL
President Clinton responds: "Jerry, you don't know the half of it."
