BILLY DONOVAN'S WILL HE/ WON'T HE
How did anyone this indecisive win back-to-back national championships?
Who will be the last goombah standing?
A 90-minute argument over who was for the war before they were against it.
JFK TERROR PLOT THWARTED
Good thing we're fighting them over there so that we don't have to fight them here.
MTV MOVIE AWARDS
Silverman nails Hilton. Paris has to suck it up.
Like sex while pregnant: Raunch with heart.
FLOODING AFTER BARRY
Imagine what'll go down if we have a real storm.
We love King James, but the Spurs have this one in the bag. Yawn.
SPACE SHUTTLE WORKER'S UNION VOTES TO GO ON STRIKE
Demand that all employees be allowed to wear astronaut diapers.