Don't smoke the mistletoe: what happens when you add pot to a porn shoot

“Do you want me to take off my panties now?" Tasha Knox asks the camera, her soft features slowly congealing into a confused scowl. "I'm asking you Steve, should I take off my panties now or what?"

Steve, the one man production crew, removes the weed cigar he's puffing on and says, "Santa would love that."

"Let me finish this blunt first," Tasha says, flicking the ash. "I can’t cough and cum at the same time.”

Knox is joined by porn newbie Cody and local erotic model Zoe Rae, all of who are outfitted in little more than stockings and Santa hats. The bed they share has been stripped to the mattress cover and a fake Christmas tree squats on the nightstand above several multi-colored vibrators. The flimsy light stands and the cloudy gray backdrop gives the shoot the feel of a weird Christmas card photo session at Olson Mills. The green clock loosely tacked to the wall is frozen at 4:20 and the room is visibly foggy from the marijuana the three women perpetually smoke.

Steve set out to film this porn video uncut. The problem is that the weed is

very real, and very potent. The women can't stop laughing at Steve's attempts to channel a "Ho, Ho, Ho'ing"  Santa from behind the camera. Steve admits how ridiculous this setup is, but he has sold stranger scenes online, including one featuring a butt-bong. Every time I run into him at various events around Tampa he has a new adult business plan in mind. His latest is, which features the combination of pot and sex.

"Have you been naughty girls this year?" Steve asks the models in his Santa voice.

Cody stares blankly at the camera while Tasha mouths, “Who are you talking to?" as if this was just an audio recording.

"I could really use some Taco Bell," Cody says.

Zoe lists all the fast food restaurants in the area along with what time each closes. Tasha tries to keep the girls on track but she’s not sure what they’re doing or which of Steve's two digital cameras they're supposed to be posing for.

Steve concedes that this video will have to be heavily edited. Pulling off a convincing plot or something as easy seeming as a Christmas theme is difficult even for big budget adult companies. The addition of weed has turned this amateur shoot into a parody of itself. I can't help but wonder why Steve doesn't just sell this video to stoners as a bloopers reel featuring amateur starlets getting baked and trying to remember how to act seductive. Would it sell? At least as well as a "serious" video of these women taking monster drags and telling Santa what they want for Christmas.

"Don't tell me what you really want," Steve tells Cody. "Say that you want your first orgasm, or a big cock or something."

"Oh," Cody says. "Okay. I want an orgasm. Just don’t make me have to think."

This reminds Tasha of how she delivered an early Christmas gift to a male costar the day before in the form of a baseball bat in his ass.

“He had to wear a tampon after the shoot to stop the bleeding,” Tasha says grinning, while Cody's mouth gapes in awe and Zoe nods knowingly. “But that young man thoroughly enjoyed himself.”

If the internet has proved anything, it's that there's an audience for anything. The only question is how many of these virtual viewers will pay real money to watch these scenes.

See the scene at

Follow Alfie on Twitter, Facebook, or at