I’ve spent my entire life answering to the name Jeremy without feeling like my parents misnamed me. I’ve always felt completely comfortable checking the “male” box on applications. When someone asks about my heritage, I gladly reveal that I am Polish and white. I have worn a slew of labels throughout my life that felt comfortable at the time: punk, hippie, writer, singer, romantic...
However, I’ve never felt comfortable calling myself gay, queer, or homosexual. I toyed with the idea that I was bisexual as a mental exercise, but truth be told my love of and attraction to men is strong and definite. I am as “gay” as they come, but even after fifteen years it doesn’t feel right saying it out loud. I am comfortable with my attraction to men, just not any words used to define it. I’ve always felt like a gaylien.
