Sh*t happened 2/6/2015: Bush too rational, Inspector General too irrational, Verizon too efficient


What can we say about yesterday that hasn't already been said by that guy in the park with the sparkly gold thong and the roller skates? To wit:

New York Times column "The Upshot" sees a problem with potential presidential candidate Jeb Bush's ability to relate to his party's base. The, ahem, upshot: Bush evinces SOME DEGREE OF SANITY.

Plans continue apace hyping the development of luxury downtown condo complex One St. Petersburg, touted as the city's tallest building. Related: Cities have personalities, and St. Pete needs a tallest building about as much as Chicago needs a gator-iest sewer line.

David Jolly had to step in when the VA mistakenly decided a Clearwater veteran's widow was dead, and stopped paying her benefits earned by her husband's military service. Apparently, this happens a lot. Perhaps the VA should offer everyone in its database a part-time job attempting to contact other benefit recipients in order to determine whether or not they're dead, then check the "Alive" box next to each person who responds.

Verizon announced it's selling its non-wireless business (cable, Internet, landlines) in Florida, California and Texas to another company, Frontier Communications. "Frontier." As in, "How can you expect shit to work right in the first place when we're out here on the edge of nothing?" Moving forward, priority outage complaints will be handled by way of telegraph, while non-priority issues will travel to Frontier's call center via a determined messenger and his noble mount. 

And finally, in a simply brilliant example of bureaucratic doublethink, the Florida Office of the Inspector General — the governmental entity charged with investigating corruption in the prison system — has served all of its employees with a virtual gag order, threatening them with the possibility of termination should they basically talk to anyone about anything that happens during their attempts to, you know, shed light upon potential abuses of authority. Sleep tight, democracy.

Image from the One St. Petersburg promotional video.